Preview Banters - Page Two

Imoen-Khalid

Imoen: So Khalid, you busy?

Khalid: I s-suppose not. What do you want to talk about?

Imoen: Oh, I was just wonderin' what Elminster was like.

Khalid: Why are you asking me?

Imoen: Well, you are a Harper, you know, so I thought you'd be able to tell what he's like. You know, what his favorite story is, where he likes to spend his time vacationing, his favorite food. You know, stuff like that.

Khalid: I've been to B-Baldur's Gate, too. Do you therefore d-deduce that I'm a drinking partner of the G-Grand Dukes?

Imoen: That would be somethin', wouldn't it? Khalid, Partner of the Grand Dukes! Has a nice ring to it, not so much as if it were Imoen, but still pretty good.

Imoen: But seriously, you really don't know him then?

Khalid: I'm afraid not. For all that there are so many famous p-people in Faerun, I really don't know any of them

Imoen: Really? And here I was thinking you were the most worldly man in the Sword Coast, well besides Elminster. (sighs) Oh, well. I guess you'll have to become famous yourself. Then I can claim I know you.

Jaheira-Khalid (by Htn)

Jaheira: Any thoughts on where we might go when this is over, Khalid?

Khalid: Well, I know you never cared for Calimshan. We could go back to visit Tethyr...for a short while.

Jaheira: Eh, much as it had been --for lack of a better word -- "home", I'd be much happier to forget its existence altogether.

Khalid: You know, even though this trip has been hard and dangerous, I've noticed you're enjoying yourself...and so am I. We could just continue to travel with <CHARNAME>...to keep an eye on him/her for Gorion's sake, of course.

Jaheira: Oh, of course...but Khalid, my love, know that to me now "home" is where ever you are.

Khalid: As you are to me, Jaheira.

Kagain-Safana (by Hendryk)

Kagain: I guess CHARNAME knows what's what and all but I'm dead and damned if *I* sees the need for another dip in our midst.

Safana: Poor little fellow! Are you afraid I'll eat the apple off your head?

Kagain: Ye be lank enough for it. If ye find such a fruit up there, help yourself.

Safana: Don't fret. I prefer to dine off more... appetizing... dishes.

Kagain: Your appetites be clear for certain. Just recall that ye wish to fill them tomorrow as well as today.

Jaheira-Khalid (by Arian)

Khalid: (laughing) C-Coran wanted to know whether my shyness was attractive to girls or not. I said I had n-no idea. So I thought perhaps I'd b-better ask someone who was likely to know. D-don't you think my ... shyness is attractive?

Jaheira: Oh, yes, you are certainly very shy, aren't you? That was a very emphatic burst of shyness you engaged in last night. I'd say that that sort of shyness would be extremely attractive...

Khalid: Th-thank you, my gentle friend * kiss *

Kivan-Viconia (by Domi)

Kivan: (* Quietly *) I have seen a small settlement, savaged by Drow once. I saw a girl no older than ten years, clutching a stuffed doll, her throat opened by a Drow's blade.

Viconia: A female is a formidable opponent, no matter how old. Do you ask a goblin if he is fully-grown before thrusting your spear through its heart?

Kivan: There was a Drow soldier, laying by her side, his amour and cruel weapons turned to dust by the rays of the noon sun. He was killed by a single thrust of a dagger through the back of his neck, a dagger that had also turned to dust. My captain told me that it was not unusual for a Drow to murder his own out of envy or to promote himself.

Viconia: That is the way of my kin, the strongest wins. Tell me that it is not so in your world, darthiir and you will be lying.

Kivan: An Elf or a Human can be vile and commit terrible deeds, but I have no word to describe a creature, who would slaughter his own to attribute to himself a murder of a child.

Viconia: (*bitterly *) You do not understand the ways of my people, Kivan, and no amount of explanation on my part will make it clear. Kivan, among the drow, there is a powerful drive to gain glory through the favor of the Spider Queen ... Nothing has greater precedence in their thought.

Kivan: Custom cannot change an evil thing into a good one. Viconia, you could have been in the party that destroyed the village I am talking about, could not you?

Viconia: * Hisses * Foolish iblith! I was of the House DeVir, the Fourth House of Menzzoberranzan and I am jalil: a female. I would not have BEEN in the raiding party! If anything I would have *lead* it!

Kivan: Then do not say that you are persecuted unjustly by the surfacers, Viconia.

Minsc-Xan (by Aurelius)

Minsc: Friend Xan, do you trust Minsc?

Xan: What? Why would you ask such a thing?

Minsc: Please, just answer Minsc.

Xan: Well...you're not so bad for a human. Too bad you'll end up as a casualty of our hopeless cause, which, as I pointed out before, has every chance to...

Minsc: Yes, yes. Please give Minsc your hand and close your eyes.

Xan: Minsc, what's come over you? Let go of me!

Minsc: Please, no peaking.

Xan: (sigh) Very well, but you should know you behavior starts to worry me more each day. Perhaps you should...

Minsc: Here. Feel the furry bundle of goodness that is Boo, and let his hamster fuzziness clear away your troubles. Smile little wizard, for no troubles can resist the soothing touch of a hamster!

Xan: What?! Let me go you deceiver, let me go!

Minsc: Boo, your powers seem to have been too much for the little elf. Look how he dances around after you have freed his mind of worries.

Xan: What were you doing? Are you trying to kill me? Great gods of Evermeet, please, don't let me catch the plague!

Minsc: Oh, no need to thank Minsc. Boo was the one that brought you such joy.

Xan: Joy?! You call THIS joy?!! Have you any idea what diseases can I get from touching that rodent?! Oh gods, I need to wash my hands! They're starting to itch! A...a...a...AT-CHA! AT-CHA!

*Squeak*

Minsc: Yes Boo, he seems more alive than ever. Look, he's turning red from excitement and his whole body seems to puff with merriment. Oh, you'll get some extra nuts tonight mister. You certainly deserve them.

Montaron-Yeslick (by Hendryk)

Montaron: Hmph! Home fer lost puppies is back yonder, not thisaways.

Yeslick: But that cursed mage *is* 'thisaways' so thence am I bound.

Montaron: Fat load o' good ye'll be.

Yeslick: I bear no grudge for your words, finding me as and where you did. But this is my home. You'll benefit from my guidance if in no otherwise.

Montaron: And yon mage has had how long—months?—to place guards and set traps ye know naught of?

Yeslick: True enough. But I've also some healing skill; sufficient, I daresay, to put us both right after one of my mistakes.

Montaron: Heh. Fetch yerself, then. You'll do no worse than t' draw the stroke as might of sought me otherwise.

Quayle-Garrick (by Andyr)

Quayle: You know Garrick they say silence is golden. So maybe you could keep the humming to yourself for a bit? I'm trying to master a new and amazingly potent spell.

Garrick: Funny you say silence is golden, when it seems to me that your voice is both loudest and most often heard.

Quayle: Us with intelligence have the right to use our voices as we wish.

Garrick: So what makes you think I'm not intelligent?

Quayle: Come on boy! You're pleasant enough but look at the size of your nose! It's miniscule! Everyone knows the relationship between nasal and cranial capacity. I mean, my brain is so big I have to wear this hat to stop me from overheating. It's specially ventilated you know.

Garrick: Oh, so that's what the hat's for? I always thought you were compensating for something else, Quayle.

Quayle: I don't know what you mean.

Garrick: Uh, never mind then. (Score one for me!)

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Baldur's Gate I (1998), Tales of the Sword Coast (1999), Baldur's Gate II (2000), and Throne of Bhaal (2001) are ©BioWare. Dungeons & Dragons material is ©Wizards of the Coast.