Grim Squeaker Posted June 27, 2004 Share Posted June 27, 2004 The European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby English will be the official language of the European nation rather than German, that was the other possibility. As part of the negotiations, Her Majesty's Government conceded that English spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a 5-year phase-in plan that would become known as "Euro-English". In the first year, "s" will replace the soft "c". Sertainly, this will make the sivil servants jump with joy.The hard "c" will be dropped in favour of the "k". This should klear up konfusion, and keyboards kan have one less letter. There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year when the troublesome "ph" will be replaced with the "f". This will make words like fotograf 20% shorter. In the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible. Governments will enkourage the removal of double letters which have always ben a deterent to akurate speling. Also, al wil agre that the horibl mes of the silent "e" in the languag is disgrasful and it should go away. By the 4th yer peopl wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th" with "z" and "w" with "v". During ze fifz yer, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords kontaining "ou" and after ziz fifz yer, ve vil hav a reil sensibl riten styl. Zer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi tu understand ech oza. Ze drem of a united urop vil finali kum tru. Link to comment
Grim Squeaker Posted June 27, 2004 Author Share Posted June 27, 2004 At what stage did you start using a German accent? Link to comment
Andyr Posted June 27, 2004 Share Posted June 27, 2004 Heheheh... EDIT: I started at the k. Reminds me of 'Allo 'Allo. Link to comment
BigRob Posted June 28, 2004 Share Posted June 28, 2004 Also, al wil agre that the horibl mes of the silent "e" in From about here. Everyone must now speak Germenglish! Link to comment
Pekka Posted June 30, 2004 Share Posted June 30, 2004 Well, this 'Germenglish' is certainly much better than French! If the European Commission ever decides that French will be the new official language, I'll go into exile. Link to comment
Mongoose87 Posted June 30, 2004 Share Posted June 30, 2004 If the union ever makes such a decision, they will all be doomed to lose every war they paricipate in. Link to comment
jester Posted June 30, 2004 Share Posted June 30, 2004 AFAIK French is the official language for all legal texts. They are then translated into all the different languages, but French seems more precise than English when it comes to legal terms and contracts. German which would be even more precise is obviously not going to be the language of choice, because it would conflict with the bloated egos of both la Grande Nation and the American offshore-subsidiary. My Denglish is fine, thank you. Link to comment
Recommended Posts
Archived
This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.