Ask Angelo!

[Sister Vigilante]

I always thought these things were fun when I saw them elsewhere

 

Questions for Angelo go here. He doesn't have the internet, so he'll be posting with my account. Feel free to ask him anything--it may overlap a question you can ask him in-game, or he may have to come up with something new. You can even ask him anachronistic or "real world" questions, though I can't guarantee what he'll make of them...

[Tameon the Dragoon]

1) What are your thoughts on working with Sarevok again now that I have resurrected him?

 

2) I totally did it with your daughter back on the Sword Coast, and it was soooo hot. Thoughts?

[Prophet]

Will you be roughing up Anomen? With, like a blade in his back?

[Bursk]

What weapon/weapon style proficiencies do you have, and is Sister Vigilante a dude (I assumed from the name and avatar that it's a woman, but aren't really sure)?

 

Oh, and are you open to having dickery performed on you by the Level One NPCs mod?

[Sister Vigilante]

Holla! Today we bring you our first installment of "Ask Angelo." We're on live, so to keep there from being any...surprises, I'll be mediating your questions to the man himself, myself. It's sort of like a talk show. Anyway without further ado, let me introduce my co-host: Angelo Dosan of Kozakura!

 

Sir yes sir.

 

That's some enthusiasm.

 

Remind me again why I'm here, and sober.

 

(We've been over this. I'm going to ask you questions, asked by people who want to know more about you. You will answer them or you will cease to exist.)

 

Ah, yes.

 

Now! I notice your readme doesn't mention some basic facts about you, so why don't you just quickly introduce yourself?

 

What do they want to know? Born in Kozakura, Kara-Tur; twenty years there, twenty years in the Sembian army; ten delightful years with the Iron Throne. As of today I'll have been walking nigh-on fifty summers around this dirtball.

 

Thank you, Angelo. Now! Looks like we already have a few postcards from enquiring minds. Let's start out with this one from Tameon the Dragoon: "What are your thoughts on working with Sarevok again now that I have resurrected him?"

 

Well, I...

 

Uh, uh, uh. Not so fast. It seemed to me the best way to address this question was to bring out our--surprise guest! Please give a big hand to Sarevok Anchev, scourge of the Gate, folks!

 

Y-you didn't say anything about--!

 

Hence the term "surprise guest." Now, Sarevok! Welcome to "Ask Angelo."

 

Thank you, Sister. But...what have we here?

 

Oh gods, oh merciful gods.

 

Dosan. Dosan! Hah, hah, hah! I see you have cheated death as well. You rascal whoreson, I would expect nothing less. And it seems you have wormed your way into Tameon the Dragoon’s service before myself, no less. You are as shrewd a coward and bootlick as ever.

 

This is a nightmare vision. By what right do you usurp this life, you damned ghost? You had your chance. Go back to the hells.

 

But from whence comes this sour tone, my friend? I never knew it from you before. You were always most pliant. Don’t tell me that in the hours I’ve passed roasting, you’ve discovered your conscience.

 

Not as such. But there is no need to discover that when you died, I had no further want of your company.

 

But you seemed quite fond of it while I lived. You never complained of the gold, even when it was bought with a weight in innocent blood. You waited at my table, for scraps, like the very dog you were.

 

I don’t deny it. I was a wretch then, and I’ve become better. I don’t say I’ve become good, and happen I never will; but I serve Tameon the Dragoon now who is a better master than you.

 

Then it seems we are alike in service. Shall we have a contest, as in the old days? Shall we see who can flatter Tameon the Dragoon and kiss the hem of his garment more adroitly?

 

Thanks, Sarevok! That's all we have time for. So, there you have it! You don't seem very happy, do you, Angelo?

 

You know him as well as I do. I don’t believe the hells changed him any; he has that same cold look, and when he laughs, there’s no humor in it. The hells are the only place fit for what he’s become.

 

Strong words. Might I ask why you feel that way?

 

...It's a long tale, chief.

 

Fair enough. Moving right along, another question from Tameon...the...Nope. Miscounted. Only one question from Tameon the Dragoon. Moving right along...

 

Liar. Let me see that.

 

I don't know what you're talking about.

 

It's right there in your hand, you quisling! Cough it up! Now let's see about this..."I totally did it with your daughter back on the Sword Coast, and it was sooooo hot. Thoughts?" Aye, is that so? Happen I've some "thoughts" for you right here in my scabbard!

 

No no I told you absolutely no threats! We want these people to like you!

 

So the sod likes it hot? Mayhap he'll enjoy these four flames arrows I have memorized!

 

*hsst!* (Besides it says he's a dragoon. I bet he's really tough; you probably don't want to mess with him.)

 

...

 

That's better. Now, you'll have to excuse Angelo--he has a bit of a double standard when it comes to this kind of thing, not to mention he hasn't seen Shar-Teel in years. He remembers her being...sweeter.

 

Next we have an interesting one from Prophet: "Will you be roughing up Anomen? With, like a blade in his back?"

 

Hnn. That tin can of platitudes is smarter than he looks--not that it's difficult. First time I saw him, he looked like a bubble ripe for the pricking, but he's gotten the better of me a time or two. But as for outright doing away with him--bad business. He holds his own in a fight, and with the odds we're up against, we need all the help we can get. I've put up with worse, believe me.

 

Thank you. Lastly we have not one, not two, but three questions from Bursk! The first being, err...what sort of weapons are you proficient with, Angelo?

 

Coming from Kara-Tur, I grew up with katana--none of those 'flawless works of art,' mind, the blades made for the open market that resemble the flawless works of art. In the, ah, honest classes, there's not much use for fancy techniques and shouting the name of your sword school 'afore you attack. So happen I'm not some 'sword saint' or whatever they like to call themselves, but I'm abler than most. I know the use of the shorter Kara-Turan blades as well, to which your scimitar is like. Aside from that, in the army, I was a fair enough hand with a long sword, and like any sod I can wield a dagger in a tight place. Don't expect me to go swinging a sword in either hand, though--that's one trick I never picked up.

 

Thank you, Angelo! (See? This isn't so bad.) Next, also from Bursk..."Is Sister Vigilante a dude?" You know, I'm not really sure that's...

 

"Sister" Vigilante is as male as I. Now, happen he has to come clean because he voices me, but otherwise I wonder if he would...

 

Stop ri-ight there.

 

Kidding, chief, I know which side my bread is buttered on. I have it on good authority that Sister's alias comes from a tome written by...a sod whose name I can't pronounce, starts with a "P," a lass therein who kills people by bouncing a bowling ball down the hilly streets of a city. Don't look at me.

 

Anyway, last of all, one final question from Bursk--you ready for this? Err now, I might have to...let's see. "If a wizard could cast a spell that would leave your soul intact but change your fighting skills--for example he could make you wield a katana in either hand, or be an archer, or even a Paladin of Torm--how would you feel about that?"

 

If such were possible, I can't say I'd object. I came by these skills by chance and might well have picked up others. Happen he made me into a paladin, it would be passing strange--but that's the nature of magic for you.

 

And, we're all out of time! Thanks very much for your--co-operation, Angelo...

 

I live......to serve.

 

...and thanks to those who submitted questions! Keep 'em coming, we love to hear from you.

 

Signing off,

Sister Vigilante

[Sister Vigilante]

Addendum: One of these questions gives me an idea for something that should definitely be in the mod...

[Bursk]

Was it my second question?

[Sister Vigilante]

Was it my second question?

 

Tameon's second, actually: the player can say they knew Shar-Teel, but I'd forgotten that in BG1 NPC project they can have a romance with her (or one could maintain they hopped in the sack anyway)...

[BigRob]

So Angelo, you used to live in Sembia and work for that Iron Throne mob, right? You have any merchant contacts down here we can use to "grease the wheels" with?

[Sister Vigilante]

Next up, BigRob has a rather shrewd inquiry:

 

So Angelo, you used to live in Sembia and work for that Iron Throne mob, right? You have any merchant contacts down here we can use to "grease the wheels" with?

 

Thoughts?

 

Woah-ho! Now let me tell you. When your brother and I sent Rieltar Anchev to the hells he so richly deserved, I hear there was a line of damned souls eight miles long, all he'd sent there 'afore him, waiting to give him a kick in the rear. We're talking nautical miles. And happen he came back from the dead, there'd be a line nine miles long--all those he bilked but didn't kill--waiting to send him right back. You don't want to mention you worked with Rieltar Anchev--not in Sembia, not in the Gate, not in Athkatla, happen not even in Kara-Tur or the Unknown Lands for all the hells I know. Rieltar had two sorts of "friends," those he killed and those he cheated, and neither would be happy to hear it. As for those of the Throne itself, the most are dead, as you well know.

 

I take it that's a "no?"

 

Now...when it comes to that, chief. They call Athkatla the "City of Coin," do they? Don't make me laugh. I got in here laying down two bribes, and with some help from a...new friend who sped the process along. Two bribes! In Sembia you had to bribe six sods just to get out of bed in the morning. They lined up outside your window during the night. Happen I pawned an emerald to buy one of those "magic licenses," but I have sinking suspicion it won't do you any good, chief. Gods forbid bureaucracy was ever a help to man.

 

I should add myself that Angelo's old "connections" are far more likely to do you harm than good.

 

Now what sort of way is that to talk? I'm sure it won't be anything you can't handle.

[Noctalys]

So, Angie. I can call you Angie, right?

 

 

So, Angie. I know you've rubbed elbows with my kindly and ever-so-altruistic brother, Sarevok, so you're no stranger to working for a person with...questionable motives. How would you feel, however, working with a person who prefers to do right by others? Not a ridiculously over-the-top stereotypical paladin, either, but someone who would prefer to help someone out when they could? Would you feel it 'cramped your style', so to speak?

[Sister Vigilante]

Holla! Bringing you another brief edition of "Ask Angelo"

 

on a Saturday night*cough

 

Hey, give me a break! I'm on vacation. It's not like there's a clothing-optional keg party going on down the hall. Not that I'd go even if there were. In any case we have a question from

 

Lo-o-oser-loser-loser.

 

In any case we have a question from Noctalys! Here goes:

 

So, Angie. I can call you Angie, right?

 

Why certainly.

 

So, Angie. I know you've rubbed elbows with my kindly and ever-so-altruistic brother, Sarevok, so you're no stranger to working for a person with...questionable motives. How would you feel, however, working with a person who prefers to do right by others? Not a ridiculously over-the-top stereotypical paladin, either, but someone who would prefer to help someone out when they could? Would you feel it 'cramped your style', so to speak?

 

Now...hnn. How can I say this? I'm not above reaching a helping hand--provided I don't lose my balance. I'm not above giving a beggar a coin if I have one to spare. If it were up to me, chief, I'd as soon see everyone in the realms happy, as otherwise. But whenever you mess with things, happen they have a tendency to blow up in your face.

 

A story comes to mind. When I was working with your, ah, altruistic brother and his still more altruistic father, back in Sembia, Rieltar's chief man went by the name of Volsik Szad. Ex-Zhentarim, a real mean son of a gibberling. He liked to entertain by bending back his "guest"'s fingers one-by-one. One day, two farmer lads--whose father had run afoul of Szad and was pushing up hay--managed to kill him. It was bold, daring, heroic, what have you. But to get back at them, Rieltar sent his toughs to burn their whole village to cinders. Twenty-six souls dead. Was it worth it? Well, who knows?

 

I'm all for keeping it low. In the end, you're the only one you can look out for; and if everyone minded their own business, happen this world wouldn't be in the state it is. I would you'd keep yourself safe, first, keep gold in your purse, "help others" as a fancy at best. But I'm not one for complaining. Provided you don't get the dukes of the hells after us, I'll try to adjust myself to what course you think best.

 

Thanks, Angelo! That seemed thorough. Then, until next

 

lo-o-o-o

 

time, take care, all!

[Noctalys]

Hey, Angie, I've got another question... I hear you're thinking of possibly traveling in my august presence. Now, what exactly makes you think that I'd let you on the team? After all, unless my memory has completely fled my skull, I seem to recall a certain person making himself a nuisance for me on more than one occasion. That casts quite a pall over our relationship now, doesn't it, Angie? After all, I'm a patient woman, and I can put up with quite a bit, but I tend to draw the line at attempted murder, as I find it rather passé.

[Choo Choo]

Why hello there, Angelo.

 

Since you had a rather complicated relationship with an old travelling companion of mine - do you remember Shar-Teel? - what with being her father whom she hated the guts of and so on.. Tell me some embarrassing stories from her childhood please please please?

[Sister Vigilante]

Well, Angelo, you always knew this day would come. Noctalys returns with an eminently reasonable question:

 

Hey, Angie, I've got another question... I hear you're thinking of possibly traveling in my august presence. Now, what exactly makes you think that I'd let you on the team? After all, unless my memory has completely fled my skull, I seem to recall a certain person making himself a nuisance for me on more than one occasion. That casts quite a pall over our relationship now, doesn't it, Angie? After all, I'm a patient woman, and I can put up with quite a bit, but I tend to draw the line at attempted murder, as I find it rather passé.

 

Eh-heh, heh. You've a memory like a steel trap there, no mistaking it. I do recall myself...something of the kind may have taken place. And you've every right to ask.

 

No question about it, you're a lady of most uncommon sagacity. How else could you have carved a path up the Sword Coast, less than twenty years of age? And won the admiration and loyalty of more than a few, and those you didn't, gotten the better of. I never thought I'd see your brother's equal for genius--however he might have channeled it--but frankly, chief, I'm in awe. What self-respecting lackey wouldn't attach himself to such a paragon of wisdom and skill?

 

Howbeit I, ah...understand you have your concerns. As to what I can do for you, consider this. The little bird of rumor tells me you've showed up in Athkatla with naught more than the shirt on your back, got the better of by some new foe. Now no doubt, it's only a temporary strait before you rally and teach that lickspittle to fear your name; but I imagine to do so, you'll be needing help. I can offer you a ready arm with fifty summers' experience behind it, at no cost but to spare my poor life. Surely a lady of such preternatural shrewdness recognizes a smart proposition?

 

But likewise, you may wonder if, to speak bluntly now, you can trust me. Consider but this--mercenary I may be, but a mercenary who couldn't be trusted would find himself quickly out of business. When I sign on to do a job, I see it through. I saw my last job through to straits most mortals couldn't stomach, at the side of a madman in a cursed place facing sure death.

 

But M'lady, I understand you have your principles. Would that we could simply forget the past, but happen that isn't always possible. If you'll not have me, I suppose I'll go my way--and if you're looking to sate an impulse of revenge, however much I'd advise against it, I could indulge you.

 

I think this speech would win my daughter.

 

Eh?

 

Sorry, private joke. Anyhow, thank you, Angelo--we'll see how many people buy that.

 

You wound me, chief, that was the very outpouring of my heart.

 

No doubt. Next up, Choo Choo has a question of a somewhat lighter tone:

 

Why hello there, Angelo.

 

Since you had a rather complicated relationship with an old travelling companion of mine - do you remember Shar-Teel? - what with being her father whom she hated the guts of and so on.. Tell me some embarrassing stories from her childhood please please please?

 

Now, I should say that Angelo had to leave Shar-Teel at the tender age of five under what he calls "extenuating circumstances"--which (although I can tell from his glare he'd rather I not say so) he's not entirely proud of. I know it's been a long time, Angelo, but any memories from those days?

 

Now chief, Shar was a...good girl. I find it hard to believe the stories I hear about her. She wouldn't say 'boo' to a pit fiend, and that's the gods' truth.

 

Although one time it happened we had a bit of a...spat. She was smart as a vorpal whip, too, make no mistake. I had always told her her daddy was in the Waterdeep fire-brigade, so happen she wasn't best pleased when I turned up in court defending myself on smuggling charges. In the end I walked, but Shar clammed right up; she wouldn't talk to me, wouldn't even look at me. For days this went on. Even her mother was quicker to forgive. So I went up to where she was in the corner, all staring at join in the walls, and told I'd go buy her a present. She didn't say anything, but I could tell from the way her shoulders moved, she was pleased.

 

Well I had twenty gold in my pocket, never you, ah, mind where I came by it. So I went down meaning to get her something nice, a ribbon or some trinket; but happen along the way, I passed my third-favorite public house--the Mithril Tankard, run by ol' Davey Brewers-Droop. Now it would have been right unsociable to pass on by without giving ol' Davey the time of day. And happen then, it would have been powerful rudeness to walk out without one drink. And as they say, a drink goes down best with company. And well to make a long story short, twenty gold doesn't go as far as you'd expect.

 

But let it not be said Angelo Dosan can't think on his feet. Ol' Davey had a big, pretty conch's shell on the bar to hold the ash from our pipes, and I knew it was just the thing for Shar; but I could hardly walk out with it. Well, next to me at the bar was a sod said he was a paladin, looking down on his luck, and next over from him was a half-orc. So I pitched the cork from my bottle at the half-orc's head, and he, already deep in the cups, took a swing at the paladin. Ol' Davey he rushed over to break up the fight, and--I slipped the conch under my cloak and ducked out right quick.

 

Old Shar was delighted, of course. But then she asked me, "daddy, it's all gray and dusty inside. Why?" Leave it to that girl to notice such a damned thing. "Well sweetness," I said, "in truth that's a magic conch shell. Every hundredth time you rub it, a Dao comes out and grants you one wish." So there was domestic accord once more, though I can't tell you how many hours she spent rubbing on that blessed conch shell. I can't recall if she ever sussed that I'd lied...

 

That sounds more like an embarrassing story about you, Angelo, that is if you had the human decency to be ashamed of it.

 

It's no easy work raising a kid, chief. You have to go by intuition.

 

I see. Anyhow, that's all the time we have for today. A big thanks to all who've sent in questions! See you next time!