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Wow! Fantastic! A tongue in cheek (and mouth) approach that sneaks up on you, only to sink its fangs into your humorous! Well done! ;)


The run on sentance at the openning distracted me a bit, and there were one or two small grammar errors, but that's just nitpicking.


If only this had been his epilogue.

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Well, I had the idea last night when speaking with BevH on making a twist in a common fairy tale. Yeah, that first sentence was bad, and I went ahead and corrected it.


Thanks for the kind words on the story, though.

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Very nice, Bri. I was a little confused near the beginning where I thought he was having a conversation with someone else, as opposed to himself (I think the description "the armoured figure groused" threw me - I was looking for another armoured figure!). But all in all, BobTokyo said it - enjoyable and rather sneaky. And poor Keldorn.

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when i read jansen for directions, and gerhart for information, i had this mental image of the illusion dropping, and a young, comely moustached gnomish lass appearing in place of the sleeping beauty..and the first words out of her mouth was...


sleeping jansen: well, well, well...a handsome paladin just past his prime...well, you know, this reminds me way back about my uncle rip van jansen, who also fell asleep for a hundred years, but it didn't take no kiss to wake him up, nope, just a jug of aged jansen turnip grog, 'course, the stench of good turnip grog will wake a week old corpse at 20 paces...that's why its illegal in amn to take turnip grog with you on a funeral, it got so bad when the deceased would pop up out of his coffin asking for a drink...




then i realized that's the kind of story I'd write... ;)


i like the ending, its very effective...and you deliberately didn't go into exactly how the girl fed...good choice, much more effective for us to speculate whether she's a soul sucker, vampire, or some sort of vegetable entity...brrr....


i liked it!!! ;);)

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He also has a restraining order against me.  I'm not supposed to get within 10 Planes of his point of reference.

*whistles innocently* ;)

Heh, BevH has been a restraining influence on me. So has the electrodes ;-)

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