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Comments on Janpelstiltskin


Loké

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Wonderful, beautiful, funny as anything. :):O:p

 

Classic Line :

Never hurts to be polite, or so says Auntie.

 

The ending: ;):cool::grin::):)

 

However, you need one more re-write. Minor nitpics (which in no way make this a less wonderful story):

 

I shall have jam poured on your extremities, and then buried in a pile of fire-ants. Face-first.

Edwin does not want to bury jam.

 

fiery temper and scathing temper

 

"Fiery and scathing temper" maybe?

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still, i kinda liked the original title... :p

Well, the original title, Jan Ampleforeskin was a tad too suggestive...

when i first read the title, i kept thinking of jan as a (Censored),

and tried to imagine him giving an infant boy his (deleted)...

 

:(:p:D:O:O:O

Brist?

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