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Werewolf jokes


Bri

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*grins*  For those without a tolerance for bad jokes, consider yourself warned...

 

Mommy, Mommy, what's a werewolf?

Don't worry about that and comb your face.

 

Why was the werewolf arrested in the butchers shop?

He was chop-lifting.

 

What happened to the wolf that fell into the washing machine?

It became a wash and werewolf.

 

What do you get when you cross a werewolf with a drip-dry suit?

A wash-and-werewolf.

 

What happened when the werewolf chewed a bone for an hour?

When he got up he only had three legs.  

 

What do you call a werewolf with no legs?

Anything you like - he can't chase you.

 

How do you know that a werewolf's been in the fridge?

There are paw prints in the butter.

 

How do you know that two werewolves have been in the fridge?

There are two sets of paw prints in the butter.

 

What does it mean if there is a werewolf in your fridge in the morning?

You had some party last night!

 

Did you hear about the comedian who entertained at a werewolves' party?

He had them howling in the aisles.

 

Did you hear about the sick werewolf?

He lost his voice but it's howl right now.

 

Werewolf: Doctor, doctor, thank you so much for curing me.

Doctor: So you don't think you're a werewolf any more?

Werewolf: Absolutely not, I'm quite clear now - see my nose is nice and cold.

 

What happened when the werewolf swallowed a clock?

He got ticks.

 

 

What did the werewolf write on his Christmas cards?

Best vicious of the season.

 

What do you get if you cross a hairdresser with a werewolf?

A monster with an all-over perm.

 

Why do werewolves do well at school?

Because every time they're asked a question, they come up with a snappy answer.

 

What parting gift did a mommy werewolf give to her son when he left home?

A comb.

 

What do you get if you cross a witch with a werewolf?

A mad dog that chases airplanes.

 

How do you make a werewolf stew?

Keep him waiting for two hours.

 

Why did the boy take an aspirin after hearing a werewolf howl?

Because it gave him an eerie ache.

 

Why shouldn't you grab a werewolf by its tail?

It might be the werewolf's tail but it could be the end of you.

 

I used to be a werewolf but I'm all right noooooooooooooooooow!

 

How do you stop a werewolf attacking you?

Throw a stick and shout fetch!

 

Why are werewolves thought of as quickwitted?

Because they always give snappy answers.

 

What do you call a hairy beast with clothes on?

A wear-wolf.

 

What do you call a hairy beast in a river?

A weir-wolf.

 

What do you call a hairy beast that's lost?

A where-wolf.

 

What happens if you cross a werewolf with a sheep?

You have to get a new sheep.

 

What's fearsome, hairy and drinks from the wrong side of a glass?

A werewolf with hiccoughs.

 

What did the werewolf write at the bottom of the letter?

Best vicious . . .

 

Who are some of the werewolves cousins?

The whatwolves and the whenwolves

 

What do you get if you cross a werewolf with a hyena?

I don't know, but if it laughs I'll join in.

 

What happened to the werewolf who ate garlic?

His bark was worse than his bite.

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