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Why Can't Evil PCs access Auren?


Torander

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I installed this and didn't find her. So, I restarted a fresh game. Well, suffice to say, I was miffed. Then, I noticed an annoying thing in the readme. "Note: She will not appear to evil characters"! What? Come on! You're killing me.

 

Edit: I was able to use Shadowkeeper to switch to my evil Charname to a good alignment. Then, after picking up Auren, I simply switched back to evil. (I always liked my charname to be lawful evil, lol.) However, maybe you should make it more clear that she won't show for evil Charnames.

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It's in the readme. What else can a modder do?

 

I'm not saying that to be judgmental! If there's a way to let players know what to expect apart from including the info in the readme, I'd like to hear it.

 

Biff the Understudy could tell Foolio Displasius that the scheduled meeting is cancelled.

 

Have a snot-nosed urchin deliver an apology note from Auren/Genericus/etc. "Word is that you're a massacring bloodthirsty sidekick to Imoen The Quick. If she's too busy to keep you in check, then it would be a waste of both our time to meet."

 

i.e. in-game messages.

 

Not that these are necessarily good ideas. But they are other ways than the readme.

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I am not poking fun at anyone - I just had the mental image of the out-of-charcater 4th wall breakage, and couldn't resist.

 

Hmmmm... characters telling out-of-game stuff in-game... an interesting idea. A good joke mod:

 

[MESSENGER] Err.... <CHARNAME>? Are you using the BWP? Because what I see here is that three of the items you are carrying are corrupted due to incorrect patching of the header. Can you please exit reality, run a set of checks, and then pop back into existence when you have that corrected? Thanks ever so much... the guys in the Copper Coronet are getting tired of reality freezing into a black screen, hearing this big *bong* sound, and then restarting.

 

...

 

[iMOEN] Heya. DUCK!

[KELDORN] I have faced many fearsome foes, but that is nothing I have ever seen. What was that?

[iMOEN] An error message. This install might be corrupted. I just heard Korgan saying something about taking a look at his diddies, and I think that was supposed to be the lady just outside the door. Plus, every time Viconia gets hit, she says "You must gather your party before venturing forth". My bet is that the player used an old savegame after installing new mods.

 

...

 

(I have used this somewhere before, I think... but it cracks me up, so... )

 

[CERND] Keldorn, have you ever thought about your role in Nature?

[CERND] Keldorn, have you ever thought about your role in Nature?

[CERND] Keldorn, have you ever thought about your role in Nature?

[CERND] Keldorn, have you ever thought about your role in Nature?

[CERND] Keldorn, have you ever thought about your role in Nature?

[CERND] Keldorn, have you ever thought about your role in Nature?

[CERND] Keldorn, have you ever thought about your role in Nature?

[CERND] Keldorn, have you ever thought about your role in Nature?

[KELDORN] Cernd, either you have a script stutter, or I am going to give you a new job pushing up daisies. Go run the bigg's script checking mod, report it on the forums, and get that fixed, or I am going to stick my sword where the sun don't shine.

 

...

 

[bIF THE UNDERSTUDY] ahem... pardon me, are you <CHARNAME>?

[PC] Yes.

[bIF THE UNDERSTUDY] I have a message for you, then... erm... let me read it...

[bIF THE UNDERSTUDY] "My Dearest <CHARNAME>, Greetings from another Plane of Existence. My name is SARILETH!! I like the heart over my "i", did you like it? I am a fifteen year old Chosen of Tyr, and though I have never met you, I just love love LOVE the whole idea of coming and spending time with you. I mean, you are so handsome, and you talk so nicely, and I just love your hair. Seriously, it curls just so, and it's so dreamy, and you have this way cool emo vibe going on, so it is so naughty of me to like you. There is just one liiitle, teeeeny problem..."

[bIF THE UNDERSTUDY] "...see, I am a Chosen of Tyr, so my whole job is to smite evil. And you (right down to those cute little curls that just make me want to DIE they are so cute) are evil. So, my daddy said I couldn't join your party and go out with you, or anything like that, and he would ground me for an entire decade if he caught me writing you - but he did say he would lend me several thousand Paladins, a Flight of Solars, and a few Clerics to go and Smite you. The good news is, I will finally get to meet you in PERSON! It is so exciting! I am really sorry I am going to have to blast you out of existence. Sorry, sorry, sorry. Hugs and Kisses, Sarileth."

[PC] Is that all?

[bIF THE UNDERSTUDY] ... erm.... well... there are nine glowing beings at the Flagon's front door, politely waiting for you to come out and get blasted. Could you... perhaps could you take the stage door exit? We just had the drapes redone, and everything catching on fire would be a real hardship to the theater right now.

 

...

 

[LETTER] Dear <CHARNAME>. You have never met me. I am Sarah. I am actually quite shy, and have never indicated I could even write. I am a young female Ranger. I like chocolate, long walks among the strong green woods of Faerun, and I am partial to girls. I have no idea why I am writing this letter to you, and telling you things that are not a stranger's business, but this "Wiki Leaks" guy just materialized out of thin air and said I should write this, just in case you wanted to know that I exist, so that I could tell you not to bother to try to find me, because apparently I need to let you know I like girls instead of guys. So if I were to meet you, and not think you were horrible, and you might get your hopes up, and then you would have wasted a bunch of time trying to get me in the sack. So I am writing this letter, and then I am moving to Dragon Age:Origins, because my privacy has been completely violated.

 

...

 

[VICONIA] I hate the very idea of your existence, jaluk. I would rather die writhing in pain than touch your hand. You disgust me utterly, completely.... I spit on you.

[ARAN] So, no luck on th' whole jump in th' sack idea?

[VICONIA] Of course, silly. First, have our player exit the game, and start Shadowkeeper. Have her set her PC's gender to "male", and your alignment to "neutral evil", and load the game up again. Then go grab a commoner and kill them to drop your reputation fast. Hey, while you are at it, have her add some points to your charisma, please. I mean, you have a cute tight little bottom, but your breath could knock a Drell Rider off their mount.

 

...

 

[PC] Pardon me, is this the way to the Twisted Rune Quest initiation point?

[iRENICUS] Tourists. A guy steps out for a quick smoke, and... hells. OK, buddy, you have skipped three chapters and some serious plot points. Turn around, and go back three passageways, then head straight north. Take the area transition to the world map, then look for the Bridge District. They should be able to help you there.

[PC] But I thought I had to go to the North Pass, and fight some Brown Dragon...

[iRENICUS] Boy, you really are lost, aren't you? Buddy, this install doesn't even HAVE that mod. Look, just do as I say, and at least you will be in the right place for this particular game. And buddy...

[PC] Yes?

[iRENICUS] Next time, will you try to get your user to actually *read* the documentation? I mean, now you have seen me three chapters early, and your user is going to spam all sorts of bug reports all over the forums because they can't &%$#@'n read an install thread or a readme. I know it's not your fault, but this was supposed to be my smoke break, and now I have to go back and try to take over Faerun without my nicotine fix. That just sucks.

 

...

 

[JASPER ST. BAIRD] Hello! Welcome to Irenicus' Dungeon, Home of the Most Famous BioWare Role-Playing Game Ever Created! If you enjoy your experience, don't forget, we have several other Infinity Engine Games available for your enjoyment.

[JASPER ST. BAIRD] Hold on, my friend... it seems that you do not have Throne of Bhaal installed! What a pity. A loss of epic proportions! Did you know that right now, at GOG, you can download the entire series, and more besides? Oh, do that, and then come back to me. I can promise you, it will be worth the experience.

[JASPER ST. BAIRD] Oh, my friend, you are still here? My mistress will be most displeased. Don't you want to enjoy your game? Without Throne of Bhaal, you can't install EasyTutu or BGT and play to the fullest experience possible. Come now, be a good player, and run off to install that expansion. It is for your own good.

[JASPER ST. BAIRD] Deary me. You are still here. OK, well, I will try to help you out. Hold on while I try to connect to the EA Servers...

[JASPER ST. BAIRD] ...

[JASPER ST. BAIRD] Oh, I am so sorry. It appears that EA has replaced the server with one supporting Madden Football MCCCIVXXIVVIX. Just a second while I clear all of this i.e. riffraff off of your harddrive, reformat it, and install the Madden game. Don't worry, it won't take long, and it will only cost you $19.95 USD per month for the updates. Trust me, this is much better...

 

...

 

[AUREN] Hey, Nalia.

[NALIA] Hey, Auren.

[AUREN] Do you think he knows?

[NALIA] About...

[AUREN] Come on. Do you think he knows?

[NALIA] I can't tell.

[AUREN] I tried to poke about and see, but he doesn't have Romantic Encounters installed.

[NALIA] Hmmm. Does he have Neh'taniel?

[AUREN] Nope. And he has Saerileth installed.

[NALIA] Oh dear.

[AUREN] Should we tell him?

[NALIA] I don't know. Who is he romancing?

[AUREN] Sheena.

[NALIA] Oh dear.

[AUREN] And Imoen.

[NALIA] Which one, the really old Friendship one, Lord Mirrabo's one, or the TC Dale update work?

[AUREN] I think the TC Dale one.

[NALIA] OK.... we have to tell him.

[AUREN] Really? I mean, what the two of us do behind closed doors is our business.

[NALIA] Are you kidding me? He must have a BWP variant installed, and if he gets to the heavier Imoen Romance materials without understanding that i.e. modding is supportive of alternative lifestyles, just what is it going to do to him when he realized that the mod is going to let him sleep with his sister?

[AUREN] Ok. We'll tell him.

 

...

 

[KANGAX] PREPARE TO...

[PC] Prepare to what?

[KANGAX] Hold on a sec...

[PC]...

[KANGAX]...

[PC] Hey, prepare to what?

[KANGAX] Shh... just a second...

[PC]...

[KANGAX]...

[PC] Look, are we playing, or did something go wrong?

[KANGAX] SHUT UP, will you? I think you have an old version of Tactics installed alongside SCSII and some strange randomization mod. The script loops are a serious PITA to work out. It is giving me a serious headache, and I can't even figure out if I am supposed to cast a spell at you or use an innate ability. Did you install an old version of Detectable Effects, or did you perhaps put gMinion on the modlist too?

[PC] I used the BWP, so I figured everything would be cool if I wanted to try this way cool Dodecahedronic Multiple Phasic Artificial Intelligence Script mod on top of all of that. Plus I installed SCSII twice, I think. It kept giving me errors, so I just hit the exit thing in the corner of the screen.

[KANGAX] OK. Hold on.

[PC] What are you doing now?

[KANGAX] I am looking up your ip address and sending it to the G3 site's "always block" list.

[PC] Why?

[KANGAX] Look, there are some things that need no explanation.

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[AUREN] Hey, Nalia.

[NALIA] Hey, Auren.

[AUREN] Do you think he knows?

[NALIA] About...

[AUREN] Come on. Do you think he knows?

[NALIA] I can't tell.

[AUREN] I tried to poke about and see, but he doesn't have Romantic Encounters installed.

[NALIA] Hmmm. Does he have Neh'taniel?

[AUREN] Nope. And he has Saerileth installed.

[NALIA] Oh dear.

[AUREN] Should we tell him?

[NALIA] I don't know. Who is he romancing?

[AUREN] Sheena.

[NALIA] Oh dear.

[AUREN] And Imoen.

[NALIA] Which one, the really old Friendship one, Lord Mirrabo's one, or the TC Dale update work?

[AUREN] I think the TC Dale one.

[NALIA] OK.... we have to tell him.

[AUREN] Really? I mean, what the two of us do behind closed doors is our business.

[NALIA] Are you kidding me? He must have a BWP variant installed, and if he gets to the heavier Imoen Romance materials without understanding that i.e. modding is supportive of alternative lifestyles, just what is it going to do to him when he realized that the mod is going to let him sleep with his sister?

[AUREN] Ok. We'll tell him.

 

epic ... {runs over to the imoen modification forum shouting, "i'm tellin on youuuuu!"}

 

seriously, good job. a rec for you.

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[CERND] Keldorn, have you ever thought about your role in Nature?

[CERND] Keldorn, have you ever thought about your role in Nature?

[CERND] Keldorn, have you ever thought about your role in Nature?

[CERND] Keldorn, have you ever thought about your role in Nature?

[CERND] Keldorn, have you ever thought about your role in Nature?

[CERND] Keldorn, have you ever thought about your role in Nature?

[CERND] Keldorn, have you ever thought about your role in Nature?

[CERND] Keldorn, have you ever thought about your role in Nature?

[KELDORN] Cernd, either you have a script stutter, or I am going to give you a new job pushing up daisies. Go run the bigg's script checking mod, report it on the forums, and get that fixed, or I am going to stick my sword where the sun don't shine.

 

:) Way too funny.

 

Seriously though, how handy would it be for them to let us know how to fix them? :D It'd be much less of a pain.

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