Wedding Gift

[Bri]

This was written in response to the current quiz at the Attic. And for the nitpickers, I know Jaheira wasn't given a last name in the game, so I went with the old medieval tradition of just using their occupation for their last name.

 

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"...and now I pronounce you husband and wife."

 

Awkwardly, she clapped, though she almost tipped over as her innate sense of balance still had not come to grips with the bountiful bosom bestowed upon her by the faulty casting of the Nether Scroll. However, no matter what else happened, Edwina had to keep suspicion to a minimum until the time of her revenge came. As such, she joined with the rest of the thunderous applause as two of her oldest acquaintances, Jaheira Harper and Abdel Gorionson were wed.

 

Jaheira looked very uncomfortable, unaccustomed to being the center of attention, only acceding to the public ceremony after weeks of Abdel's pestering. Edwina couldn't help but notice Jaheira bore the proceedings with an inherent grace she seemed unaware of. Edwina's glance traced her figure appreciatively, noting that where many women who took up arms were just like their swords--all lines, and hard angles--Jaheira was none of these. In her simple silks, she was sweeps, and curves, and swells. Not that Abdel looked all that bad, dressed as he was in polished full plate mail, accented with a blue surcoat.

 

Jaheira got off easy thought Edwina, her eyes momentarily glancing downward bridesmaid's gown she wore, the one with the canary yellow blouse, hot pink skirt, and bright green sleeves.

 

Not that I'm the only one to suffer such indignities, she thought, and cast her gaze over at her Aerie, the other bridesmaid. Aerie, however, was entirely enjoying the proceedings.

 

Aerie leaned in close, and excitedly whispered, "Ooh, isn't this exciting? I hope I catch the bouquet! Don't you?"

 

Edwina cleared her throat, "As much as my current form may suggest, I have no desire to catch the bouquet."

 

Aerie's cheeks flushed, and she apologetically offered, "I...I...didn't mean anything by it, honest. You know what they say, always a bridesmaid, never a bride."

 

Edwina bit back the scathing retort, and shook her head, and simply said, "Aerie...go away."

 

Not that I can expect anything different from the flightless fool Edwina thought, All that power, and not a thought in her head. Rather than continue whining about the loss of her wings, why doesn't the simpering sop permanently polymorph herself into the shape of an avarial, one with wings?

 

Edwina refocused her attention as Abdel and Jaheira, their kiss now finished, started to make their way down the red carpet and toward the carriage that awaited them.

 

"Yes, just a little bit further," purred Edwina, for at the end of red carpet was the large, brown skin of an ursine that had the misfortune to meet Edwina during that special time in which her anger spiked, and her patience ebbed at an all time low.

 

And so it was Abdel and Jaheira stepped on the pelt, when a bright flash of white light filled the room, momentarily blinding everyone while a loud clang deafened the wedding guests. The commotion was over just as soon as it had begun, except for one thing. Lying in a nice, neat pile was Abdel's armor, and Jaheira's clothing, leaving the bride and groom as naked as the day they were born.

 

"What...what happened?" Abdel stammered, his face burning red as he slowly became aware of his naked state.

 

Jaheira maintained her composure, as she knelt down and ran her hand along the rug.

 

"Enchantment," she hissed, her eyes flashing through the crowd.

 

Indeed, thought Edwina, And a lucrative one at that. There are already several hundred orders for the Bare-Skin Rug.

 

Edwina's reverie was interrupted by Aerie's hand tugging on her blouse.

 

"What is it?" Edwina growled, but softened as he noticed Aerie was struggling not to giggle, and seemed to be losing the battle.

 

Aerie raised both hands, leaving a space of no more than two inches apart, and tittered, "I...I see Jaheira DID marry him for his mind."