Looks really good! Besides the things @jastey mentioned, I am not so happy with the translation of Happy, happy, joy-joy, happy, happy, joy-joy!
Friede, Freude, Eierkuchen has a rather negative meaning in German.
Translated as Peace, Joy, pancakes, it is a proverb that describes a superficially intact, seemingly peaceful and carefree facade within a society. It is often used to express that problems are repressed rather than solved. I am not sure if this is the idea behind the original sentence.
I suggest changing it to something like "Freut Euch Eures Lebens" or „Lasst Freude in