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Inherent silliness


LuckyOne

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'Ello, LuckyOne here from over at The Chosen of Mystra!

 

Just to explain what this thread is all about; my twisted brain and I have a strange habit of composing new lyrics to old songs (primarily during university lectures :) Stupid brain!!). Anyway, these are the songs that I have so far managed to find littering my hard drive. I'm not saying that they're any good, but they gave me a chuckle to write so hopefully they'll do the same for you!

 

LuckyOne

 

A Jansen-ized version of Britney Spears' "Hit me baby one more time". If you want the original lyrics, they can be found at the following link --

 

http://www.azlyrics.com/lyrics/britneyspea...nemoretime.html

 

Crunch it baby one more time!!

 

Oh Turnip, Turnip

How was I supposed to know

That you wouldn’t make good beer

Oh Turnip, Turnip

I shouldn't have let you grow

And now they’ve had a bite, yeah

They don’t know what you mean to me

Fill me baby 'cause I am hungry now, oh because

 

Chorus:

My hungriness is killing me

I must confess I still believe

When I don’t munch you I lose my mind

Give me some wine,

Oh Crunch it baby one more time!

 

Oh Turnip, Turnip

The reason I weed is you

Boy you got me addicted

Oh pretty Turnip

There's nothing of you I wouldn’t chew

And now I’ve mashed it up and canned it

Show me how you want it to be

Fill me baby 'cause I am hungry now, oh because

 

Chorus:

My hungriness is killing me

I must confess I still believe

When I don’t munch you I lose my mind

Give me some wine,

Crunch it baby one more time!

 

Oh Turnip, Turnip how was I supposed to know

Oh pretty Turnip, I shouldn't have let you grow

I must confess, that my hungriness is killing me now

Don't you know I still believe

That you will be here,

Oh get me more wine!!

Crunch it baby one more time!

 

* * * * *

 

This time it's a corrupted version of "I could have danced all night" in the film, "My Fair Lady". If you want the original lyrics, they can be found at the following link --

 

http://www.brave.com/bo/lyrics/icouldha.htm

 

This song was inspired by Dragon Lord's "Corrupted NPC MoD" idea over at the Chosen of Mystra forum, in particular Evil Aerie! Enjoy!! :)

 

I could have bashed all night!!

(aka, the Song of Evil Aerie)

 

Evil Aerie: Head! Head! -- I could’ve chopped off his head!

I’m full of too much fight to settle down!

Sleep? Sleep -- I couldn't sleep tonight

Not 'till I've corrupted the whole town!!

 

I could have bashed all night

I could have crashed all night

And still have begged for more

I once would have spread my wings

And done a thousand things

I now find *such* a bore!

I'll never know what made Amn so enticing

All at once I was up for a fiiiiiiiight!

I only know when he began to fight with me

I could have bashed, crashed, slashed all niiiiight!!

 

Asylum Guard: I’m after thee now,

come with me now

That man is now stone dead!

Evil Aerie: I could've fought...

Asylum Guard: Your time is up,

Evil Aerie: All night...

Asylum Guard: You must be off your head!

Evil Aerie: I could have bashed...

Asylum Guard:Your face is drawn,

Evil Aerie: All night...

Asylum Guard:Your eyes are glowing red...

Evil Aerie:And still...

Asylum Guard: Now say goodnight.

Evil Aerie: have begged...

Asylum Guard: Come on, stop this fight

Evil Aerie: for more.

Asylum Guard: You know it's really time for you to be in chains..

Evil Aerie: I could have spread...

Asylum Guard:Just come along,

Evil Aerie: my wings...

Asylum Guard: Do as you're told,

Evil Aerie: and done a thousand...

Asylum Guard: or the PC

Evil Aerie: things

Asylum Guard: is apt to scold

Evil Aerie: I'd nev-

Asylum Guard: I think it’s too late…

Evil Aerie: -er done...

Asylum Guard: Gods, you’d be an awful date

Evil Aerie: before.

Asylum Guard: Please just do as you’re sodding told!!

Evil Aerie: I'll never know what made Amn so enticing

But all at once I was up for the fight!

I only know...

Asylum Guard: Stop giving me that look

Evil Aerie: when he...

Asylum Guard: *That* look you can keep

Evil Aerie: began to fight...

Asylum Guard: Now put that down!!

Evil Aerie: with me...

Asylum Guard: I'll just cast sleep....

Evil Aerie: I could have bashed, crashed, slashed...all niiiiight!!!!!

 

* * * *

 

I've seen this one done a couple of times, so I thought I might as well have a crack at it! Here's my corruption of "Copacobana" (it had to be done :p)! If you want the original lyrics you can find them at the following link --

 

http://www.1000websites.com/heylola/lola_lyrics.htm

 

Copper Coronet-a!!

 

His name was Ano

He was a poser

With flashy highlights in his hair and a shirt ripped down to there

He would merengue and do the salsa

But while he tried to be a star,

Aerie always tended bar

Although it was a bore, she worked from 8 ‘till 4

She was young and she had a bouncer,

Who could ask for more?

 

At the Copper (CO!), Copper Coronet-a (Copper Coronet-a)

The hottest spot here in Athkatla (where?)

At the Copper (CO!), Copper Coronet-a

Music and passion were always in fashion

At the Copper.... they fell in love.

 

His name was Janny. He wore a Turnip

He was escorted to his chair, he saw Ano prancing there

And when he finished, he called him over,

But Janny went a bit too far,

Aerie sailed across the bar

And then the punches flew and the Turnip was mashed in two

There was blood and a single bow shot

But just who shot who?

 

At the Copper (CO!), Copper Coronet-a (Copper Coronet-a)

The hottest spot here in Athkatla (where?)

At the Copper (CO!), Copper Coronet-a

Music and passion were always in fashion

At the Copper.... he lost his love.

 

Copper... Copper Coronet-a... music and passion... always the fashion...

 

His name was Ano,

He was a poser

But that was 30 years ago, when he used to have a show.

Now it's a disco, but not for Ano,

Still in the shirt he used to wear,

Faded highlights in his hair.

He sits there so refined, and drinks himself half-blind.

He lost his youth and he lost his Janny,

Now he's lost his mind!

 

At the Copper (CO!), Copper Coronet-a (Copper Coronet-a)

The hottest spot here in Athkatla (where?)

At the Copper (CO!), Copper Coronet-a

Music and passion were always in fashion

At the Copper.... don't fall in love.

 

* * * *

 

Just a short one this time; last night I was minding my brothers kids and we watched the Disney film, "The Lion King". In one part of it the baddy of the film - Scar - sings "I've got a lovely bunch of coconuts" to torment his prisoners. Well, I've now composed Irenicus' version of the song, entitled "I've got a lovely bunch of prisoners". I don't know what the full song is, so I've only modified the bit that scar was singing.

 

Enjoy! :D

 

I've got a lovely bunch of prisoners!

(aka, the Song of Irenicus)

 

I've got a lovely bunch of prisoners!

There they are all hanging in a row

Big one, small one, one that’s bigger than me!

That’s the trick! A crack of the whip!

I'll hopefully crack some heads!

 

* * * *

 

This is a song that's been lying around on my hard-drive for ages. It's a Viconia-ized version of the Abba song, "Gimme Gimme Gimme (a man after mid-night)". You may well be wondering about the content of the song... weeeelll, in my sick and twisted mind Viconia and Jan make a good pair! If you want the original lyrics, they can be found at the following link --

 

http://www.lyricsfreak.com/a/abba/2937.html

 

NOTE: I suppose that this song could be classified as containing "strong" language, however, the most offensive word is written in the Drow tongue, so I guess that doesn't count!! If you want to know what the Drow words mean, you can find a translation at the bottom of the page.

 

Gimme Gimme Gimme!!

(aka, the song of a sexually frustrated Drow Cleric )

 

Half past twelve

And I'm watching the fires die in my room all alone

How I hate to spend the evening on my own

Autumn winds

Blowing outside the window as I look around the room

And it makes me so depressed to see the gloom

There’s only Shar up there,

Who’ll listen to my prayer!

 

Gimme gimme gimme some Jan after midnight!

He’s the one to help me chase these urges away

Gimme gimme gimme some Jan after midnight!

Rock me through the darkness ‘till the break of the day

 

Vithing Bards

Find the right dungeons, with a fortune to win

It's so different from the world I'm living in

Tired of Charname

I open the window and I gaze into the night

But there's no one there to screw, no jaluk in sight

There's only Shar up there,

Who’ll listen to my prayer!

 

Gimme gimme gimme some Jan after midnight!

He’s the one to help me chase these urges away

Gimme gimme gimme some Jan after midnight!

Rock me through the darkness ‘till the break of the day

 

Gimme gimme gimme some Jan after midnight

Gimme gimme gimme some Jan after midnight

 

Why won’t Shar up there,

Just listen to my prayer?!

 

Gimme gimme gimme some Jan after midnight!

He’s the one to help me chase these urges away

Gimme gimme gimme some Jan after midnight!

Rock me through the darkness ‘till the break of the day

Gimme gimme gimme some Jan after midnight

He’s the one to help me chase these urges away

Gimme gimme gimme same Jan before midnight

Rock me through the darkness ‘till the break of the day!!

 

Drow - English Translation:

Vithing = F**king

Jaluk = Male

 

* * * *

 

Jan's nightmare: his Turnips have been sold to a filthy Human baker by his own Mother!!! (dun dun duuuun!!). This is a (poor) adaption of the David Bowie song "Changes". If you want the original Bowie lyrics, they can be found at the following link:

 

http://www.lyricsfreak.com/d/david-bowie/36790.html

 

Turnips!!

 

Jan:

Didn’t know that I’d been pruning for so long

Weeds were running wild

Every time I thought I'd got it made

It seemed those plants could not be beat

So I turned myself to face ma

But I've never caught a glimpse,

Oh how she must have gone to see the baker!

I need to get those veggies back!!

 

Chorus:

T-T-T-T-Turnips!

(Turn and face the Jansen)

T-T-Turnips!

He could never be a parsnip man!

T-T-T-T-Turnips!

(Turn and face the Jansen)

T-T-Turnips!

Just gonna have to be a Turnip man

Time won’t change him

But you can try

 

Jan:

I watched the veggies turned into pies

And managed not to scream

A Baker ruining the root of the Gods just proves

That Humans really aren’t so wise

And suddenly Toril seemed insane!

And these Humans that ignore you

As they defile your Turnips

Are immune to your culinary suggestions

They're quite aware of what you're going through

 

Chorus:

T-T-T-T-Turnips!

(Turn and face the Jansen)

T-T-Turnips!

Don't tell thim to grow up and out of it

T-T-T-T-Turnips!

(Turn and face the stranger)

T-T-Turnips!

Where's your shame

You've defiled the root of the Gods!

Time won't change him

But you can try

 

Strange fascination, fascinating me

Turnips are the veggie I'm going through

 

Chorus:

T-T-T-T-Turnips!

(Turn and face the Jansen)

T-T-Turnips!

Oh, look out you Orc 'n Trollers

T-T-T-T-Turnips!

(Turn and face the Jansen)

T-T-Turnips

Pretty soon you're gonna get a little older

Time won’t change him

But you can try

I said that time won’t change him

And don’t you try

 

* * * *

 

All I can say for writting this is "sorry"... It's my rendition of Christian Aguilera's "Genie in a bottle", entitled "Halfling in a cell". If you want Christian's original lyrics you can find them at the following link --

 

http://www.lyrics007.com/Christina%20Aguil...e%20Lyrics.html

 

Halfling in a Cell

(aka, the Song of Mazzy)

 

I feel like I’ve been locked up tight

For a century of darkest nights;

Waiting for Charname

To release me.

The Shades licking his lips and blowing kisses my way,

But that don’t mean I’m gonna give it away

Shady, Shady, Shady

 

Oh whoa...

My body’s saying let’s go.

Oh whoa...

But my mind is saying oh-no!

 

If you wanna live in me, Shady, there’s a price to pay.

I’m a Halfling in a cell, you gotta rub me the right way.

If you wanna live in me then you haven’t got a clue!

You can try to make a big impression, but I’m not gonna like what you do!!

 

I’m a Halfling in a cell, Shady.

Gotta treat me politely, Ghost-y.

I’m a Halfling in a cell, Shady,

Come, come, come and I’ll sort you out!!

 

The shadelings are moaning and the lights’re down low,

One more night and my sanity will go;

Waiting for Charname

To free me!!

I’m ready to run at the speed of light,

But that don’t mean I’m gonna be rescued tonight;

Oh Shady, Shady, Shady

 

Oh whoa...

My body’s saying let’s go.

Oh whoa...

But my mind is saying oh-no!

 

If you wanna be live in me, Shady, there’s a price to pay.

I’m a Halfling in a cell, you gotta rub me the right way.

If you wanna live in me then you haven’t got a clue!

Come and set me free, Shady, or I’m gonna bloody kill you!

 

I’m a Halfling in a cell, Shady.

Gotta treat me politely, ghost-y.

I’m a Halfling in a cell, Shady,

Come, come, come and let me out…

 

 

Well, that's all folks!! :D (For now... :))

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