Userunfriendly Posted April 18, 2004 Share Posted April 18, 2004 ok, naughty bits part one includes all my stories and songs to date, as published in the attic and forgotten wars...excepting 2 songs that are musical tributes to attic fanfic writers..wouldn't work to post them here since the songs make references to their work, so most people here would end up scratching your heads... so i'm starting a new thread for my new songs... ------------------------------------------------------------------------------- You're Only a Jansen... (sorry Billy...) http://www.lyricsfreak.com/j/joel-billy/72917.html You’re having a hard time and lately even turnips don’t taste so good You’re getting a bad reputation with Trax in your neighbor-hood It’s alright, it’s alright Sometimes that’s what it takes You’re only a Jansen, you'll make more than your share of mistakes You better believe there will be times in your life When you’ll be feeling like a long-limbed fool So take it from me you’ll learn more from your accidents Than anything that you could ever learn at gnomish inventor's school Don’t forget your turnip ends Healthy turnip greens will give you a second wind When Lissa left you, you could hardly think thru the pain You’re gonna be crashing into stone walls again and again It’s alright, it’s alright Though you feel your heart break You’re only a Jansen, you’re gonna have to deal with heartache You're just a funny little man, Out in the wide world all alone You’re not the only one who’s made mistakes But they’re the only thing besides turnips you can truly call your own Don’t forget your turnip ends Healthy turnip greens will give you a second wind You probably don’t want to hear advice from someone else But I wouldn’t be telling you if I hadn’t been there myself It’s alright, it’s alright Sometimes that’s all it takes You’re only a Jansen You’re supposed to make mistakes But I survived all those long lonely days When I lost my little sister and best friend Cause all I needed was a little faith So I could catch my breath and fight Irenicus again Don’t forget your turnip ends Sooner or later you’ll feel the turnip greens kick in Don’t forget your turnip ends Sooner or later you’ll feel the turnip greens kick in Link to comment
Userunfriendly Posted April 18, 2004 Author Share Posted April 18, 2004 A Spoon Full of Turnips In ev'ry turnip story that must be sold The story must begin quite bold! but even the best audience it must be told, can find the same stories just too old... And when the wee one's attention wanders from the turnip parable they should ponder, give them something they are fonder, keep them grounded and not in the wild blue yonder That a... a spoon full of turnips helps the Jan stories go down The Jan stories go down-wown The Jan stories go down Just a spoon full of turnips helps the Jan stories go down without driving you insane today! ------------------------ This is a silly little piece that just wrote itself in my head one day... Link to comment
Userunfriendly Posted April 23, 2004 Author Share Posted April 23, 2004 Viconia! http://www.geocities.com/tvshowthemelyrics/FlipperSong.html They call her Viconia, Viconia De Vir, No one you see, is sluttier than she... And we know Viconia, Viconia De Vir, Will spice up a party,how lucky are we!!! Everyone loves the bad girl you see, So kind and gentle is she, (NOT!!!) Tricks she will do when she pleases, And their tongues will drop to their kneeses! They call her Viconia, faster than lightning, No-one you see, can disrobe faster than she, And we know Viconia, is a creature of wonder, And she belongs utterly to me! Link to comment
Userunfriendly Posted April 29, 2004 Author Share Posted April 29, 2004 A new Village people song parody.. Please comment on the comment thread I am about to add... I'm really afraid i've crossed the line from bad taste, to actively offensive... http://www.sing365.com/music/lyric.nsf/In-...8256DF20009B3FA In the Party Where can you find pleasure Search the world for treasure Learn gnomish technology Where can you begin to make your dreams all come true On the land or on the sea Where can you learn to fight for Justice and the Right experience geography wield your mace in your right hand Or cast spells from the grandstand When your team and others meet In the Party Yoshimo: Yes, you can sail the seven seas! In the Party Anomen: Yes, you can put your Armor on with ease In the Party Jan: Come on now, I even left my Turnip Stand! In the Party, in the Party Minsc: Can't you see that Trademeet needs a hand! (Squeek-Eek!) In the Party Cernd: Come on, protect the Druid Lands! In the Party Yoshimo: I even have a secret plan! (Oopse, ignore that!!!) In the Party Haer: We all even have our own Attic fans! In the Party, in the Party, in the Party (in the Party) We want you, we want you We want you as a new recruit! If you like adventure Our Party is the one to enter We need a cleric fast Don't you hesitate There is no need to wait Even though you're just a lass Maybe you think you're too young To join up today But don't you worry 'bout a thing For I'm sure happy you'll be Its not just a maybe Just listen to our earnest plee! In the Party Jan: We'll give you all the turnips you ever need! In the Party Yoshimo: The pay is better than chicken feed! In the Party Minsc: We kick the butts of evil everywhere! In the Party, in the Party Haer: I'll show you how to fight with a bardic flair! In the Party Anomen: Let evil shake and be-aware! In the Party Valygar: Girlfriend, we have to do something about that hair! In the Party Cernd: Stop being such a boring square! In the Party, in the Party, in the Party (in the Party) We want you, we want you We want you as a new recruit Aerie: Who me? We want you, we want you We want you as a new recruit Aerie: But, but, but I'm afraid of the dark. Aerie: Hey, hey look Aerie: I've never been outside of the circus you know! We want you, we want you in the Party. Aerie: Oh my goodness, Aerie: What am I gonna do with a turnip? We want you, we want you in the Party ------------------------------------------------------------------------------ oh yeah, one thing...its all grim's fault.. http://forums.spellholdstudios.net/index.php?showtopic=7250 see??? Link to comment
Userunfriendly Posted May 13, 2004 Author Share Posted May 13, 2004 http://walruspage.progipark.com/revolver.html Jan Jakobar Jansen (UU) Ah, look at all the Turnip-hating people Ah, look at all the Turnip-hating people Jan Jakobar Jansen picks up the turnips in the church where a wedding has been Farewell to the dream Waits by his pushcart, wearing the grin that he keeps in a jar by the door Who was it for? All the Turnip-hating people Where do they all come from ? All the Turnip-hating people Where do they all belong ? Jan Jakobar Jansen writing the words of a story that no one will hear No one comes near. Look at him working. What good are turnip stories when no one is there What does he care? All the Turnip-hating people Where do they all come from? All the Turnip-hating people Where do they all belong? Jan Jakobar Jansen tries to forget she once spoke with love his name She never came Jan Jakobar Jansen left home one day with the fire of adventure in his eyes He was tired of the lies All the Turnip-hating people Where do they all come from? All the Turnip-hating people Where do they all belong? ------------------------------------ I tried to capture the image of Jan trying to forget Lissa... I really liked the challenge of writing this song, 3 choruses and really only 3 blocks to express the emotions in the song... Link to comment
Userunfriendly Posted May 19, 2004 Author Share Posted May 19, 2004 http://www.lyricsbox.com/m-people-lyrics-s...ng-pqdqscs.html I've got Turnips in my Cart It's been a long road Gettin from the slums to here It's been a long time But my cart is finally here And I can see my customers at night I'll get my share of the pie And Trax isn't gonna hold me down no more No he's not gonna change my mind (Chorus) 'Cause I've got Turnips in my Cart I'm going where my roots will take me I've got Turnips to believe I can do anything I've got Flashers in my bow He's not going to bend nor break me I am going to go far I've got Turnips I've got Turnips Turnips in my Cart Link to comment
Userunfriendly Posted May 24, 2004 Author Share Posted May 24, 2004 http://www.lyrics-4all.net/Love_Me_Do_Lyrics.html ------------------------------------------------------------- Turnip-Stew Love, Turnip-Stew. I love Turnip-Stew, Without some I'm blue, So please-ese, Turnip-Stew. Yum-mmm, Turnip-Stew. Love, Turnip-Stew. I love Turnip-Stew, Without some I'm blue, So please-ese, Turnip-Stew. Yum-mmm, Turnip-Stew. Turnips I love, Diced in a stew. Need a lot of, Fresh Turnip-Stew. Love, Turnip-Stew. I love Turnip-Stew, Without some I'm blue, So please-ese, Turnip-Stew. Yum-mmm, Turnip-Stew. Love, Turnip-Stew. I love Turnip-Stew, Without some I'm blue, So please-ese, Turnip-Stew. Yum-mmm, Turnip-Stew. Yeah-ah, Turnip-Stew. Spicy, Turnip-Stew. "NO JAN, WE ARE NOT HAVING TURNIP STEW AGAIN TONIGHT!" shouted Charname. "Be reasonable Charname, since the siege began, food supplies in Saradush are awfully low. Its either Turnip-Stew again, or we have to start chewing on our boots." spoke Aerie placatingly. "Ok, here you go." said Charname as he took off his Boots of Avoidance. Everyone gathered around the cookpot eyeing it with hunger on their face, as the tough leather began to give off a mouth-watering aroma as it boiled. Only Jan sat off to the side happily chewing on a turnip. Link to comment
Userunfriendly Posted May 24, 2004 Author Share Posted May 24, 2004 Turnip is the taste-killer. Turnips are the little-veggies that brings total constipation. I will face my turnips. I will permit it to pass over me and through me. And when it has gone past I will turn to the colonoscopy to see its path. Where the turnip has gone there will be nothing. Only Jan will remain. [Litany against Turnips - a teaching of the Bene Gesserit] Link to comment
Userunfriendly Posted June 5, 2004 Author Share Posted June 5, 2004 http://www.lyrics007.com/Survivor%20Lyrics...r%20Lyrics.html The eye of the Hamster!!! Risin' up, back on Amn's street Bent the bars, took my chances Went the distance now we're back from Rashemon Just a rodent and his faithful companion So many times it happens too fast You lose the only person that matters Don't lose your grip on the nightmares of the past You must fight to keep your new witch alive It's the eye of the Hamster And teeth that will bite Beware of our butt-kicking goodness His fur shaking with fury What a terrifying sight And Boo is watching us all With the eye of the Hamster!!! Face to face, out in the street Gathering gold, righting wrongs They stack the odds still we take to Trademeet For the kill, with the skill to survive It's the eye of the Hamster And teeth that will bite Beware of our butt-kicking goodness His fur shaking with fury What a terrifying sight And Boo is watching us all With the eye of the Hamster!!! Risin' up, straight to the throne Got the guts, got the glory Aerie's my witch now, but we still have to atone Just a rodent and his faithful companion It's the eye of the Hamster And teeth that will bite Beware of our butt-kicking goodness His fur shaking with fury What a terrifying sight And Boo is watching us all With the eye of the Hamster!!! The eye of the Hamster!!! The eye of the Hamster!!! The eye of the Hamster!!! The eye of the Hamster!!! Great fun, Right Boo?! Squeek-Eek!!! Link to comment
Userunfriendly Posted June 16, 2004 Author Share Posted June 16, 2004 http://www.sing365.com/music/lyric.nsf/Yod...825690F00159AA1 ------------------------------------- Sola! I met him in a city in the Underdark He was a drow elf with skin as black as Coca-Cola, C O C A, Cola He was waiting for me near the city gates I asked for his name and in a gravelly voice he said "Sola" S O L A, Sola So-so-so-so Sola Well, he's been around, and he's been to school He quotes poetry, and he's even made Boo Two, Oh, my Sola So-so-so-so Sola Well, I'm not dumb, but I don't know why All these spider chicks treat him like he's their favorite fly Oh, my Sola So-so-so-so Sola So-so-so-so Sola Well, I left Amn just a week before But even in the Underdark they got me running a chore Solafein, he helped me to switch the egg, So that Phaere could be taken down a peg. Well I'm not the kind that would forget a friend, So the dark elf came with us, we're just following a trend With my Sola So-so-so-so Sola So-so-so-so Sola Sola So-so-so-so Sola So-so-so-so Sola Well I am the Child, And I have the Taint, I'm no bloody saint, While questions spun my head This was what that darned Sola said "I do what I must when I must." Realizing he was still not voiced, I was just a little fussed Oh, my Sola So-so-so-so Sola You know, Wes came up with quite a card, Though maybe the encounters shouldn't be so hard Oh, my Sola So-so-so-so Sola Well, I met these elves in their little camp Now I have to find their stupid lost lamp Back in Amn, Bodhi stole Sola that night, And I couldn't believe how hard was that fight, Well after those evil stone heads gave me the sign I'm so glad I had Sola Weimerfein Tob with my Sola So-so-so-so Sola So-so-so-so Sola So-so-so-so Sola So-so-so-so Sola So-so-so-so Sola So-so-so-so Sola So-so-so-so Sola So-so-so-so Sola So-so-so-so Sola So-so-so-so Sola So-so-so-so Sola So-so-so-so Sola So-so-so-so Sola So-so-so-so Sola Link to comment
Userunfriendly Posted June 20, 2004 Author Share Posted June 20, 2004 http://www.sing365.com/music/lyric.nsf/Yod...825690F00159AA1 ------------------------------------- Sola! I met him in a city in the Underdark He was a drow elf with skin as black as Coca-Cola, C O C A, Cola He was waiting for me near the city gates I asked for his name and in a gravelly voice he said "Sola" S O L A, Sola So-so-so-so Sola Well, he's been around, and he's been to school He quotes poetry, and he's even made Boo Two, Oh, my Sola So-so-so-so Sola Well, I'm not dumb, but I don't know why All these spider chicks treat him like he's their favorite fly Oh, my Sola So-so-so-so Sola So-so-so-so Sola Well, I left Amn just a week before But even in the Underdark they got me running a chore Solafein, he helped me to switch the egg, So that Phaere could be taken down a peg. Well I'm not the kind that would forget a friend, So the dark elf came with us, we're just following a trend With my Sola So-so-so-so Sola So-so-so-so Sola Sola So-so-so-so Sola So-so-so-so Sola Well I am the Child, And I have the Taint, I'm no bloody saint, While questions spun my head This was what that darned Sola said "I do what I must when I must." Realizing he was still not voiced, I was just a little fussed Oh, my Sola So-so-so-so Sola You know, Wes came up with quite a card, Though maybe the encounters shouldn't be so hard Oh, my Sola So-so-so-so Sola Well, I met these elves in their little camp Now I have to find their stupid lost lamp Back in Amn, Bodhi stole Sola that night, And I couldn't believe how hard was that fight, Well after those evil stone heads gave me the sign I'm so glad I had Sola Weimerfein Tob with my Sola So-so-so-so Sola So-so-so-so Sola So-so-so-so Sola So-so-so-so Sola So-so-so-so Sola So-so-so-so Sola So-so-so-so Sola So-so-so-so Sola So-so-so-so Sola So-so-so-so Sola So-so-so-so Sola So-so-so-so Sola So-so-so-so Sola So-so-so-so Sola Cliffette requested a version based on the original Barry Manilow song "Copacabana"...and it turned into this... ------------------------------------- Solacabana by User Unmanilow His name was Sola, he was a showgirl With yellow feathers in his hair in a transvestite bar you know where He would merengue and do the cha-cha But while he tried to be a star, Charname tended bar Across the crowded floor, he worked from 8 til 4 They were young and they had each other Who could ask for more? At the Sola (SO!), Solacabana (Solacabana) The hottest spot north of Athkatla(here) At the Sola(SO!), Solacabana Music and passion were always in fashion At the Sola....they fell in love. His name was Ano. He wore a diamond. He was escorted to his chair, he saw Sola dancing there And when he finished, he called him over, But Anomen went a bit too far, Charname sailed across the bar And then the punches flew and chairs were smashed in two There was blood and a single gun shot But just who shot who? At the Sola (SO!), Solacabana (Solacabana) The hottest spot north of Athkatla(here) At the Sola(SO!), Solacabana Music and passion were always in fashion At the Sola....they fell in love. Sola... Solacabana... music and passion... always the fashion... His name was Sola, he was a showgirl, But that was 30 years ago, before his nosehair started to show. Now it's a disco, but not for Sola, Still in the dress he used to wear, Faded feathers in his hair. He sits there so refined, and drinks himself half-blind. He lost his youth and he lost his Charname, Now he's lost his mind! At the Sola (SO!), Solacabana (Solacabana) The hottest spot north of Athkatla(here) At the Sola(SO!), Solacabana Music and passion were always in fashion At the Sola....don't fall in love. Link to comment
Userunfriendly Posted July 3, 2004 Author Share Posted July 3, 2004 Ok, another Weird Al piece... http://www.mudconnect.com/mudfaq/mudfaq-p1.html#q2 muds are the forerunner of today's multiplayer on-line fantasy games... http://www.lyricsfreak.com/r/robert-palmer/116935.html Robert Palmer did "Addicted to Love" then Weird Al did http://www.metrolyrics.com/lyrics/126508/W...icted_To_Spuds/ now here's... --------------------------------------- Addicted to M.U.D's!!! Asheron's Call, Final Fantasy too, Without DSL, I am so blue! Text based, or graphically rich I am so weak to any on-line pitch! You plan a trip every darned night To pick up a virtual sword and to explore and fight! I understand how you must feel I can't deny they've got appeal Whoah You like them whether they are free or you pay, oh yeah Better face the facts, it seems you can't get enough You know, you're gonna have to face it You're addicted to Muds! Your greasy hands, your dry lips Time to push those old computer chips Your belly aches, your teeth grind Some Warcraft III would blow your mind! And you don't mind if they're not patched You need your fix, gotta get attached! And late at night you always dream Of ping counts and servers upstream! Whoah, you like them even if puzzles seem too tough, oh yeah Whee, It's pretty obvious to me you can't get enough You know you're gonna have to face it You're addicted to Muds Might as well face it, you're addicted to Muds Might as well face it, you're addicted to Muds Might as well face it, you're addicted to Muds Might as well face it, you're addicted to Muds Might as well face it, you're addicted to Muds Ooh yeah I'm givin' up, it's just no use Another case of Computer abuse What can I say, what can I do Online Gaming has got me too, Wahoo I used to hate them, now they're all that I do, oh yeah Whee, those grue got me whipped, but they just can't be beat Now I'm gonna have to face it I'm addicted to Muds Might as well face it, I'm addicted to Muds Might as well face it, I'm addicted to Muds Might as well face it, I'm addicted to Muds Might as well face it, I'm addicted to Muds Might as well face it, I'm addicted to Muds Might as well face it, I'm addicted to Muds Might as well face it, I'm addicted to Muds Might as well face it, I'm addicted to Muds Might as well face it, I'm addicted to Muds Might as well face it, I'm addicted to Muds Link to comment
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