Bri Posted May 2, 2004 Share Posted May 2, 2004 Very good start. At least with the first paragraph, it seemed like you caught the essence of Undeath, at least an aspect of it (I mean, becoming a lich would be different than becoming a vampire). One thing you may wish to be careful of is your spelling. Not that it bothered me, (and I know I make the same mistakes), but I did notice some spelling errors such as contitousnes instead of consciousness. Heh, but as I say, your story was still very clear, and this isn't a big deal to me. Link to comment
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