cmorgan Posted October 5, 2009 Share Posted October 5, 2009 /* Punching the 4th Wall Hard * /* The concept of 4th wall has come up before; in general, a little goes a long way. But there are some in-game fun stuff, from Sir Kalthorine's cool appearence in ToB back in the day, when he was a rabid fan so helpful and active on the boards that BioWare made reference to him in-game, all the way to the use af Garrick in a gentle rip-off of Cyrano De Bergerac (some of you know it as the Steve Martin movie "Roxanne" or any of a dozen other retellings, but us Intellectual Purist Snobs know it as Edmund Rostund's cool play about a dude with a long nose...). Basically, too much of Ferris Beuhler's turning to the audience and addressing them, or cans of Coke turning up on Star Trek, or any other odd breakage of the "willing suspension of disbelief" required for fun roleplaying, and the element of farce breaks up the game for the player. So, a fun little challenge - let's play with first lines from classics, which breaks 4th wall, but "FR-ize" them. Can we have some fun reinterpreting classics enough to make those heavy readers among us laugh, while allowing the participants to remain firmly entrenched behind their wwall of impenetrable Canonical Knowledge Of The Way Things Are In Faerun? Let's see... */ /* BG2 FriendTalk 12 c-aranfriendbg2 = 23 */ /* "So once there were three men, sitting around a fire. And one of them got up and said..." TrailTalk, FR style */ IF ~Global("c-aranfriendbg2","GLOBAL",23)~ THEN BEGIN a426 SAY ~[ARAN] Hey, <CHARNAME>. Tell me a story, eh? Somethin' to take th' edge off all o' this blood an' death an' such.~ ++ ~[PC] I do not have any stories to tell. How about you tell me one.~ DO ~SetGlobal("c-aranfriendbg2","GLOBAL",24) RealSetGlobalTimer("c-aranfriendtimer","GLOBAL",ARAN_FTT)~ + a427 + ~RandomNum(7,1)~ + ~[PC] Not a good time, Aran. No more talking.~ DO ~SetGlobal("c-aranfriendbg2","GLOBAL",24) RealSetGlobalTimer("c-aranfriendtimer","GLOBAL",ARAN_FTT)~ + c-aranshutup7 + ~RandomNum(7,2)~ + ~[PC] Cut the chatter, Aran. We need to move along.~ DO ~SetGlobal("c-aranfriendbg2","GLOBAL",24) RealSetGlobalTimer("c-aranfriendtimer","GLOBAL",ARAN_FTT)~ + c-aranshutup1 + ~RandomNum(7,3)~ + ~[PC] And I have been thinking, too. Mostly about how to get you to stop talking.~ DO ~SetGlobal("c-aranfriendbg2","GLOBAL",24) RealSetGlobalTimer("c-aranfriendtimer","GLOBAL",ARAN_FTT)~ + c-aranshutup2 + ~RandomNum(7,4)~ + ~[PC] I prefer you when you are the silent type. Right now, obviously, this is a problem, because you keep opening your mouth and letting wind come out.~ DO ~SetGlobal("c-aranfriendbg2","GLOBAL",24) RealSetGlobalTimer("c-aranfriendtimer","GLOBAL",ARAN_FTT)~ + c-aranshutup3 + ~RandomNum(7,5)~ + ~[PC] Please, keep talking. I always yawn when I am interested. Just in case you did not notice, this is called 'sarcasm'.~ DO ~SetGlobal("c-aranfriendbg2","GLOBAL",24) RealSetGlobalTimer("c-aranfriendtimer","GLOBAL",ARAN_FTT)~ + c-aranshutup4 + ~RandomNum(7,6)~ + ~[PC] Silence. That is spelled 's i l e n c e'. You are a scribe - write it down, and post it somewhere where you can read it.~ DO ~SetGlobal("c-aranfriendbg2","GLOBAL",24) RealSetGlobalTimer("c-aranfriendtimer","GLOBAL",ARAN_FTT)~ + c-aranshutup5 + ~RandomNum(7,7)~ + ~[PC] I don't mind you talking so much, as long as you don't mind me not listening.~ DO ~SetGlobal("c-aranfriendbg2","GLOBAL",24) RealSetGlobalTimer("c-aranfriendtimer","GLOBAL",ARAN_FTT)~ + c-aranshutup6 + ~Class(Player1,BARD_ALL)~ + ~[PC] Do I look like a bard? Wait a minute... yes, I do. Sure, I will tell you a story. What kind of story do you want to hear?~ DO ~SetGlobal("c-aranfriendbg2","GLOBAL",24) RealSetGlobalTimer("c-aranfriendtimer","GLOBAL",ARAN_FTT)~ + a428 + ~!Class(Player1,BARD_ALL)~ + ~[PC] Do I look like a bard?~ DO ~SetGlobal("c-aranfriendbg2","GLOBAL",24) RealSetGlobalTimer("c-aranfriendtimer","GLOBAL",ARAN_FTT)~ + a429 ++ ~[PC] I would be glad to tell you a story. Do you want a true story, or an invented one?~ DO ~SetGlobal("c-aranfriendbg2","GLOBAL",24) RealSetGlobalTimer("c-aranfriendtimer","GLOBAL",ARAN_FTT)~ + a428 ++ ~[PC] Aren't you supposed to be talking to me seriously about the nature of existence, or giving me some deep advice about surviving all this?~ DO ~SetGlobal("c-aranfriendbg2","GLOBAL",24) RealSetGlobalTimer("c-aranfriendtimer","GLOBAL",ARAN_FTT)~ + a439 ++ ~[PC] I do not know, Aran. All I seem to be able to think about is doom and gloom.~ + a430 END IF ~~ a427 SAY ~[ARAN] Aye, I could do that. I guess you get tired o' naught but questions an' concerns about you.~ ++ ~[PC] Why, what have you heard? Is my breath bad? Do I have something in my teeth?~ + a442 ++ ~[PC] I never get tired of hearing about me.~ + a450 ++ ~[PC] Yes. Tell me something fun, and make sure it does not involve death, destruction, or the disposition of souls.~ + a450 ++ ~[PC] Tell me something absolutely true about you.~ + a452 END IF ~~ a428 SAY ~[ARAN] Well, it does not rightly matter, as long as it is somethin' besides death an' doom, eh?~ ++ ~[PC] Perhaps you have a better story to tell me.~ + a450 /* Cervantes */ + ~InParty("anomen") !InParty("c-ajantis")~ + ~[PC] 'Somewhere in the Dale Lands, in a place whose name I do not care to remember, a gentleman lived not long ago, one of those who has a lance and ancient shield on a shelf and keeps a skinny nag and a greyhound for racing...'~ + a434 + ~!InParty("anomen") InParty("c-ajantis")~ + ~[PC] 'Somewhere in the Dale Lands, in a place whose name I do not care to remember, a gentleman lived not long ago, one of those who has a lance and ancient shield on a shelf and keeps a skinny nag and a greyhound for racing...'~ + a435 + ~!InParty("anomen") !InParty("c-ajantis")~ + ~[PC] 'Somewhere in the Dale Lands, in a place whose name I do not care to remember, a gentleman lived not long ago, one of those who has a lance and ancient shield on a shelf and keeps a skinny nag and a greyhound for racing...'~ + a436 ++ ~[PC] Why are you wasting my time with all this lighthearted banter? Surely there are more important things to be talking about. Even advice to share.~ + a440 /* Scott - I can't stand the book, get tangled up in his prose, but the line is great - */ ++ ~[PC] Try this story on for size - 'Oh! young Lochinvar is come out of the west, Through all the wide Border his steed was the best; And save his good broadsword he weapons had none. He rode all unarmed and he rode all alone.'~ + a444 /* Dick Francis */ ++ ~[PC] How about this one... 'I could think of three good reasons for not going to Neverwinter, one of which was twenty-six, blond, and upstairs unpacking the luggage...' + a433 /* Traditional joke */ ++ ~[PC] Perhaps this will amuse you. 'Once there were three men, sitting around a fire. So one of them got up and said...'~ + a437 /* Tennison */ ++ ~[PC] 'Half a league, half a league, half a league onward, all in the valley of death rode the six hundred.'~ + a443 END IF ~~ a429 SAY ~[ARAN] No, not quite a bard, but you done been at th' center o' a storm your whole life. There has to be somethin' interestin' you can tell me. I be a right fine audience. Plus, there be no competition around, too.~ ++ ~[PC] Why are you wasting my time with all this lighthearted banter? Surely there are more important things to be talking about.~ + a438 /* Lytton */ ++ ~[PC] How about this one. 'It was a dark and stormy night...'~ + a431 /* Dickens */ ++ ~[PC] Perhaps this one... 'It was the best of times, it was the worst of times, it was the age of wisdom, it was the age of foolishness, it was the epoch of belief, it was the epoch of incredulity...'~ + a432 ++ ~[PC] I have enough to worry about in real life. I do not need to indulge in stories, true or made up.~ + a448 /* Orson Scott Card, Ender's Game - read it. It is worth it, big time. */ ++ ~[PC] What about 'I've watched through his eyes, I've listened through his ears, and I tell you he's the one.'~ + a442 ++ ~[PC] I do not know, Aran. All I seem to be able to think about is doom and gloom.~ + a430 END IF ~~ a430 SAY ~[ARAN] Well, then, by all th' gods, don't be tellin' me a story. We are practically livin' in one right now, an' I am still worried about what th' last chapter has in store for us. Well, more specific, what it has for me, eh?~ IF ~~ THEN EXIT END IF ~~ a431 SAY ~[ARAN] Talos's Terrible Talons. I get it - some long-winded tale about one o' th' StormLord's warriors, all bent on destruction. Hey, unless he gets a pole shoved up his arse by some Han girl, forget it!~ IF ~~ THEN EXIT END IF ~~ a432 SAY ~[ARAN] Leira's Lamentation, no way you needs be tellin' that tale. Blighted bard what wrote that won't settle on an answer, eh? Too deep for my blood. Tell me somethin' that has a great mercenary scribe, some attractive young lass, an' about four children to spice it up. An' leave out any reference to dragons!!~ IF ~~ THEN EXIT END IF ~~ a433 SAY ~[ARAN] Milil's Golden Voice, now you be talkin' th' right kind o' story! You keep on, an' I'll just listen. Just be sure you be leavin' out any reference to dragons!~ IF ~~ THEN EXIT END IF ~~ a434 SAY ~[ARAN] Loviatar's Lash, I am in no mood to hear no story about Anomen. It be bad enough I got to hear what he calls stories from th' bloody windbag now. You go on an' tell your story. I'll be somewhere dumpin' th' contents o' my stomach.~ IF ~~ THEN EXIT END IF ~~ a435 SAY ~[ARAN] Eldath's Elevated Eyebrows, now you be talkin' th' right kind o' story! Hey Ajantis, listen up, boyo! <PRO_HESHE>'s about to tell a story on what your life will be later on!~ IF ~~ THEN EXIT END IF ~~ a436 SAY ~[ARAN] Waukeen's Silver Tongue, now you be talkin' th' right kind o' story! You keep on, an' I'll just listen. Just be sure you be leavin' out any reference to dragons, unless th' paladin wins!~ IF ~~ THEN EXIT END IF ~~ a437 SAY ~[ARAN] 'Anders, tell us a story. So Anders got up an' said, Once there were three men, sittin' around a fire, an' one o them got up an' said, Anders, tell us a story, so...'~ + ~[ARAN] Shaundakul's Mighty Breath, I done heard that an' told that a million times. How about we just start singin' 'Ninety-Nine Tankards O' Beer On Th' Bar' instead? It has more point, an' better subject matter!~ IF ~~ THEN EXIT END IF ~~ a438 SAY ~[ARAN] All work an' no play makes <CHARNAME> a dull <PRO_BOYGIRL>. Bast's Babbling Toungue, sorry. Now I sound like on o' them old biddys what chatter on wi' their truisms. Forget it. I'd rather just think up some stories myself, anyways. Let me see... so a handsome, modest sellsword meets this really cute lass...~ IF ~~ THEN EXIT END IF ~~ a439 SAY ~[ARAN] Did you hit your head right hard that last combat? On account o' you think I got some advice on life? Hells, <PRO_BOYGIRL>, I need someone to help strap on my armor in th' mornin'. Go find a sage for the rest o' that stuff!~ ++ ~[PC] Seriously, do you have any advice for me? Everyone else seems to have no problems telling me or warning me about my future.~ + a440 ++ ~[PC] Never mind. As far as stories go, I have enough to worry about right now in real life. I do not need to indulge in stories, true or made up.~ + a448 /* The Obligatory Austen */ ++ ~[PC] Fine. I will tell you a story. How about 'Emma Woodhouse, handsome, clever, and rich, with a comfortable home and happy disposition, seemed to unite some of the best blessings of existence; and had lived nearly twenty-one years in the world with very little to distress or vex her.'~ + a445 END IF ~~ a440 SAY ~[ARAN] Sure thing. Keep your eyes on th' big picture, don't be takin' no wooden tradebars, an' try not to get a god or gods mad at you. O' course, it be too late for number three there, which is why it be fun travelin' wi' you. Dangerous, but fun.~ ++ ~[PC] Come on, Aran. I am serious. Give me some advice.~ + a441 /* Kafka. Don't bother. Class assignment, Back In The Day(tm). Not my cup of tea. Bleh. Might as well settle in with Neitsche and a nice glass of ground up rock pwder with a poison chaser... */ ++ ~[PC] If you insist, how about I tell you this one - 'As Gregor Samsa awoke one morning from uneasy dreams he found himself transformed in his bed into a gigantic insect.'~ + a446 /* Brust. He Rocks. */ ++ ~[PC] I have a story for you. It starts like this - 'There is a similarity, if I may be permitted an excursion into tenuous metaphor, between the feel of a chilly breeze and the feel of a knife's blade, as either is laid across the back of the neck. I can call up memories of both, if I work at it. The chilly breeze is invariably going to be the more pleasant memory.'~ + a447 ++ ~[PC] I think you should tell me a story, and entertain me.~ + a450 ++ ~[PC] I have enough to worry about in real life. I do not need to indulge in stories, true or made up.~ + a448 END IF ~~ a441 SAY ~[ARAN] I be bloody well serious on this one - listen to yourself. If you be screamin' rage an' fear inside, that be fine. I am watchin' your back, an' I will be there to help out. But if you be screamin' rage an' hate an' power, let me know, on account o' I want to be out o' target range when you decide to smash th' world into rivers o' blood.~ IF ~~ THEN EXIT END // a441 is a chain << out_of_install_order CHAIN ~C-ARANJ~ a441 ~[ARAN] Hey, hey, no, naught wi' th' tales o' them Red Wizards takin' over peoples brains an' usin' them for their nefrar.. neffere... dammit, nefarious deeds!~ == ~EDWINJ~ IF ~InParty("Edwin") InMyArea("Edwin") !StateCheck("Edwin",CD_STATE_NOTVALID)~ THEN ~[EDWIN] (Buffoon. A true literary masterpiece, thrown as pearls before swine.) <CHARNAME>, silence this overgrown ape and continue.~ == ~C-ARANJ~IF ~!Global("c-aranromanceactive","GLOBAL",2)~ THEN ~[ARAN] No, none o' that. Tell me somethin' nice an' happy, wi' a sellsword what finds all th' riches he wants, an' a fair lass to bed, an' another to marry, an' mayhap a third what to dally with on occasion just to keep things spicy...~ == ~C-ARANJ~IF ~Global("c-aranromanceactive","GLOBAL",2)~ THEN ~[ARAN] No, none o' that. Tell me somethin' nice an' happy, wi' a sellsword what finds all th' riches he wants, an' wins away your heart, an' lives right happily ever after exceptin' when they go out together an' whup up on some bad-arsed giants just for fun...~ EXIT IF ~~ a442 SAY ~[ARAN] No, nothin' in your teeth, an' your breath be no worse than expected. Right then, a story. So me an' Kravich was on guard duty up on th' Trade Way, an'... ~ ++ ~[PC] Do all your stories involve Kravich? ~ + a461 ++ ~[PC] Heard it. You and Kravich found out the monks that you were guarding were actually cute young female thieves in hiding, and you helped them expand the definition of 'undercover work'. Try another one.~ + a460 ++ ~[PC] You keep telling the story, Aran. I am going to keep my eyes on our surroundings, so if it looks like I am not paying attention, you just keep talking.~ + a459 ++ ~[PC] No, wait... tell me a story about your family.~ + a464 ++ ~[PC] Hey, what was that? Over there, behind you, I thought I saw something moving... does anyone else smell sulphur?~ + a463 END IF ~~ a443 SAY ~[ARAN] Torm's Stalwart Fist, now you be talkin' th' right kind o' story! You keep on, an' I'll just listen. I just hope it be havin' a happy endin', like they be elves smitin' th' crap out o' a whole pile o' Drow bastards...~ IF ~~ THEN EXIT END IF ~~ a444 SAY ~[ARAN] Torm's Tangled Banner,that lad be in for a mite bit o' hurt. An' it don't rightly make sense, neither. Did he take his broadsword, or was he all unarmed, eh? or is it one o' those symbolic stories... oh, hells, I'll be just shuttin' up an' listenin'. You go on.~ IF ~~ THEN EXIT END CHAIN ~C-ARANJ~ a445 ~[ARAN] Now that be a right big shame. Pretty, rich, an' bored out o' her skull... == ~C-ARANJ~IF ~!Global("c-aranromanceactive","GLOBAL",2)~ THEN ~[ARAN] So she meets up wi' this handsome sellsword an' decides to try a life on th' road, right, rubbin' his back at night an'... oh, hells, sorry. It be your story. I'll be just shuttin' up an' listenin'. You go on.~ == ~C-ARANJ~IF ~Global("c-aranromanceactive","GLOBAL",2)~ THEN ~[ARAN] Now why would I want to hear about someone what be so borin'? I mean, you are plenty interestin', an' this wallflower 'Emma' don't rightly have no story what to speak of, an'... oh, hells, sorry. It be your story. I'll be just shuttin' up an' listenin'. You go on.~ EXIT IF ~~ a446 SAY ~[ARAN] Bloody hells, no! I want naught to do wi' horror or some mad wizard experimentin' on poor unsuspectin' souls wi' polymorph spells! Forget it. I'd rather just think up some stories myself, anyways. Let me see... so a handsome, modest sellsword meets this really cute lass...~ IF ~~ THEN EXIT END IF ~~ a447 SAY ~[ARAN] Bloody hells, no! I want naught to do wi' horror or some cold knife bein' tossed about! Forget it. I'd rather just think up some stories myself, anyways. Let me see... so a handsome, modest sellsword meets this really cute lass...~ IF ~~ THEN EXIT END IF ~~ a448 SAY ~[ARAN] Aye, I suppose we should be thinkin' deep thoughts, an' worryin' about what be next. But hells, <CHARNAME>, There be power in distractin' yourself, an' enjoyin' life. Come on, now, tell a story, eh? Just a little one, what be funny an' happy? ++ ~[PC] No. But you tell me one.~ + a450 ++ ~[PC] Forget it, Aran. We should get back to business, and focus on what needs to be done.~ + c-aranshutup4 ++ ~[PC] Perhaps another time. Right now, you should pay more attention to what you are doing. Or that your codpiece has come loose...~ + a449 ++ ~[PC] No, I do not have a story ready. But you could tell me a story about your family.~ + a464 /* Crane, TRBoC - that and Starship Troopers top my list of really great stories. */ ++ ~[PC] Perhaps this one will be amusing... 'The cold passed reluctantly from the earth, and the retiring fogs revealed an army stretched out on the hills, resting.'~ + a468 END IF ~~ a449 SAY ~[ARAN] Bloody hells. That might have been a bit embarrasin', or even a mite painful, eh? Go on, then. I'll be back in a second or two, once I got all my gear settled proper.~ IF ~~ THEN EXIT END IF ~~ a450 SAY ~[ARAN] Well, let me see. Some story what gets your mind off o' things. I know... how about a joke, instead. How do you be tellin' if a Shadow Thief be dead?~ ++ ~[PC] They crossed me?~ + a451 ++ ~[PC] I have no idea.~ + a451 ++ ~[PC] Don't we have spells for that sort of thing?~ + a451 ++ ~[PC] Well, first step on their wrists, then kick the weapon they were weilding away from them, then cut off their head...~ + a451 ++ ~[PC] What fool kills a Shadow Thief? Oh, you mean when there are no witnesses...~ + a451 ++ ~[PC] Hey, some of my best friends are Shadow Thieves.~ + a451 END IF ~~ a451 SAY ~[ARAN] Hold a piece o' gold out in front o' them an' see if they grab for it. O' course, you do have to be careful, on account o' there might be a slight twitch in thier fingers even hours after death, eh?~ IF ~~ THEN EXIT END /* Theater of the Absurd */ IF ~~ a452 SAY ~[ARAN] I like eggs.~ ++ ~[PC] Well, that was short and pointless. How about telling me a story?~ + a450 ++ ~[PC] Is that it??~ + a453 ++ ~[PC] You can do better than that. Tell me about your sister.~ + a453 ++ ~[PC] Funny. Tell me a story about your family.~ + a464 ++ ~[PC] Judging by the smells that occasionally issue from your general direction, they seem to not like you...~ + a466 END IF ~~ a453 SAY ~[ARAN] I like eggs when they be scrambled, wi' a little rasher of bacon on th' side.~ ++ ~[PC] Well, that was short and pointless. How about telling me a story?~ + a451 ++ ~[PC] Fine. I will tell you something true. You are wasting my time trying to be funny. ~ + a455 ++ ~[PC] You can do better than that. Tell me about your sister.~ + a456 ++ ~[PC] (sigh) It really is true. All you can think about is food.~ + a454 END IF ~~ a454 SAY ~[ARAN] That be a downright exaggeration. Sometimes, I think about romancin', too.~ IF ~~ THEN EXIT END IF ~~ a455 SAY ~[ARAN] Some people don't rightly have no sense o' humor. None at all.~ IF ~~ THEN EXIT END IF ~~ a456 SAY ~[ARAN] Well, Elanil is doin' right fine, last I heard. She spends all her time doin' apprentice stuff in Waterdeep, cleanin' th' mask o' her patron, an' generally learnin' all that a mage ought to know. Not much to tell, right now. We have not been travellin' where I can get much in th' way o' letters goin' back an' forth. Why dop you ask?~ ++ ~[PC] You were the one interrupting with pointless talk. I was just following suit.~ + a457 ++ ~[PC] No particular reason. I know she means alot to you.~ + a457 + ~Gender(Player1,MALE)~ + ~[PC] Is it a crime to ask about a pretty girl?~ + a458 + ~Gender(Player1,FEMALE)~ + ~[PC] Is it a crime to ask about your sister?~ + a462 END IF ~~ a457 SAY ~[ARAN] Right, then. Got you to talk about somethin' unrelated to where we be right now, so mission accomplished. I' m goin' to go see what trouble I can stir up to make this place a mite bit more excitin'.~ IF ~~ THEN EXIT END IF ~~ a458 SAY ~[ARAN] In your case, it might just be a capital offense!~ IF ~~ THEN EXIT END /* I am not so sure about finishing the whole story - the effect is there, and the idea is that the story would be a long one. There might be an opportunity to recycle some of the flirt stoies here if playtesters find out they wanted more. */ IF ~~ a459 SAY ~[ARAN] Sure thing, <CHARNAME>. Now, me an' Kravich, we had been workin' our way north half a tenday wi' this pair o' monks, see. They kept to themselves, though we thought it was a mite bit odd that they did not seem to pray none, an' th' smaller one giggled a bit much for a monk, but then again we both had seen stranger things than laughin' monks on the Trade Way...~ ++ ~[PC] (Listen to the story intently)~ + a467 ++ ~[PC] (Let the story fade into the background, listening to the friendly sound of his voice)~ EXIT ++ ~[PC] (Pretend to listen, letting Aran ramble on until he finishes and moves off cheerfully)~ EXIT END IF ~~ a460 SAY ~[ARAN] Taiamat's Tentacles, my tongue twisted twice, eh? Well, what about the time Kravich an' me, we went huntin' gibberlings wi' naught but a couple o' wooden spoons an' in our undergarments...~ ++ ~[PC] Forget it, Aran. We should get back to business, and focus on what needs to be done.~ + c-aranshutup4 ++ ~[PC] They do. All your stories seem to involve Kravich.~ + a461 ++ ~[PC] Well, all of your stories involve battles, chasing women, and drinking. I want to hear something else.~ + a450 END IF ~~ a461 SAY ~[ARAN] Sune's Lickable Lips, am I tellin' th' story, or are you goin' to bloody well interrupt every five buggerin' seconds?~ ++ ~[PC] Forget it, Aran. We should get back to business, and focus on what needs to be done.~ + c-aranshutup5 ++ ~[PC] You are telling it. Go on, I will not interrupt again. Is that better?~ + a459 ++ ~[PC] You look so cute when you go all red in the face like that.~ + a457 ++ ~[PC] Hmmmm. That depends on how much you pay me to keep listening. Or is expecting fair coin for wasting my time a crime?~ + a458 END IF ~~ a462 SAY ~[ARAN] No, no crime there. But you have a knack for changin' th' conversation. If that were made a crime, in your case, it might just be a capital offense!~ IF ~~ THEN EXIT END IF ~~ a463 SAY ~[ARAN] WHERE! What be... Oh, funny, funny <PRO_BOYGIRL>. Shar's Blackened Bodice, you have a knack for changin' th' conversation. Right, then. I'll be keepin' my story to myself.~ IF ~~ THEN EXIT END IF ~~ a464 SAY ~[ARAN] Well, there be naught in th' way o' grand stories there. Although there was one time when my father got trapped into a trade contract wi' some shady characters, an' he managed to turn th' tables on 'em.~ ++ ~[PC] How did he do that?~ + a465 ++ ~[PC] Forget it, Aran. We should get back to business, and focus on what needs to be done.~ + c-aranshutup6 ++ ~[PC] You can do better than that. Tell me about your sister.~ + a453 END IF ~~ a465 SAY ~[ARAN] I meant it literal, eh? He had a payoff in Easthaven of a ring what animated objects. It only had one charge left, but it were enough to do th' job. We picked up a quick run off th' beaten path to a Cyric-blighted hole, Dougan 's Hole, not knowin' th' goods was suspect. We delivered th' goods fine, no questions asked, but th' shady characters wanted to walk leavin' no payment save some cold steel between th' ribs, so to speak.~ = ~[ARAN] Now, my father, he sizes things up right quick, an' he sends me out to gather th' coster an' get set while he keeps 'em entertained. He was a great talker, an' still is to this day. When th' boyos decided to come after him an' finish up quick, he had th' table hug 'em real tight, holdin' 'em in place, an' made a run for it.~ = ~[ARAN] It worked right fine, too, but o' course it meant that we were not likely to want to go back past Dougan's Hole any time after. We stuck to th' Eastway between Easthaven an' Bryn Shander when up in those icy blighted lands from then on.~ IF ~~ THEN EXIT END IF ~~ a466 SAY ~[ARAN] Oh, funny, funny <PRO_BOYGIRL>. Shar's Blackened Bodice, you have a knack for changin' th' conversation. Right, then. I'll be keepin' my story to myself.~ IF ~~ THEN EXIT END IF ~~ a467 SAY ~[ARAN] We thought nothin' o' th' strangeness, but it were a mite hard to keep focused on th' tasks wi' all th' flirtin' goin' on. Then it happened that a band o' brigands jumped us right proper. Th' small one, she dropped th' charade right quick, an' it seemed like she spat funny little sharp objects from every part o' her body, while th' larger one seemed to fade away in front o' our eyes only to reappear holdin' a dagger in th' back o' one o' th' ones who jumped us.~ = ~[ARAN] Unfortunately, Kravich an' I were busy wi' four others, an' missed how it happened, but one o' th' 'monks' took a right solid thrust through th' right lung. By th' time we finished 'em off, she'd passed on. Her friend were right angry, but ready to move on, when Kravich steps up an' says anyone who can make steel dance like that deserves another bit o' time on this plane, eh?~ = ~[ARAN] So to make a long story short, we got to a temple an' brought her back. Both o' th' ladies was right appreciative, too. Now *that* were a fine tenday! The carrousin', it cost us both dear, an' they left us naught in th' way o' gear or coin at th' end, but it were a fine, fine tenday.~ IF ~~ THEN EXIT END IF ~~ a468 SAY ~[ARAN] Torm's Tangled Banner, th' blasted wizards done forgot to refresh th' spells, an' everyone got exposed at once? It must o' been a bloodbath! Easy targettin' on all sides, eh? I'd be grabbin' any bit o' cover I could, on account o' a shield wall exposed like that be ripe for a fireball up the arse... oh, hells, I'll be just shuttin' up an' listenin'. You go on.~ IF ~~ THEN EXIT END Link to comment
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