Forgotten Realms Magedeul story

[Grand_Dracolich]

Wow, been too long since I posted here. Been busy with college. >.<

 

While looking something up for a friend of mine, I found the FR magedeul rules, in Magic of Faerun, and was inspired to start writing a fanfic with that as the center. I think I have the basic premise done, and was wondering if anyone else had any suggestions. Unfortunately, I have a mildly german (read, functional) writing style. Hopefully, I'll be able to write something interesting to read without trying to copy Richard Baker's or Richard Lee Byers' writing styles.

 

The basic premise is a no-holds-barred, anyone-(any spellcasters who would be interested)-can-enter-as-long-as-you're-civil mageduel tournament hosted at Longsaddle by the Harpells (the only mages I know of who are crazy enough to actually host one), for a netherese relic. It's set in Eleint of 1374, Year of Lightning Storms (strategically set so it's after the Shadovar/Phaerimm and Fey'ri wars and the Year of Rogue Dragons, with a good amount of time before the novel Blackstaff). The main character and his deadpan snarker sidekick are mages from Silverymoon, the main antagonists are a fighter/mage/mage-killer, some Red Wizards of Thay, some Shadovar, some Zhents, and pretty much anyone else in the tournament, to a small degree.

 

It's a good opportunity for me to write a lengthy story, and I love writing mage battles. I'll be making heavy use of the Complete Arcane and Complete Mage (for feats, mainly, I won't be using the prestige classes), Magic of Faerun and Spell Compendium. Any suggestions on the setting and sourcebooks? Also, are there any rules on weapons, psionics, or divine spells in mageduels? I couldn't find any in the book.

 

Secondly, as I was going to post it in Gibberlings3's fanfic forum, are there any special rules for posting there? I couldn't find any rules specific to that forum (which is the reason I'm posting this here).

[Grand_Dracolich]

Was planning on waiting until an actual combat chapter, but this part actually turned out well enough that I thought I'd post it, to get people's opinions. Any particular thing in my writing style that needs work. Also, before anyone says anything, I am definately going to avoid forming a relationship between Kethin and Haessa. Not only would that be cliche and spottable-from-a-mile-away, but Kethin's description is actually based on me, vaguely, and Haessa's is based on a friend of mine, and if I go down that road, she'll definately kill me.

 

 

 

They stood just outside a large, cube-shaped area, easily fifty feet to each side, the walls of which shimmered like a thin sheet of translucent water. Like any reasonably-talented mage, Kethin could feel the raw power in those walls. The rules of the mageduel were devised by Mystra, goddess of magic, to prevent needlessly devastating mortal combat between mages of legendary power. No spell can penetrate the walls, nor can any participants be killed during the duel. Under normal circumstances, to refuse a duel of this kind to settle a conflict could be considered tantamount to professing a desire to murder your opponent.

These aren’t normal circumstances, Kethin reminded himself. Mageduels during large events as entertainment or for other reasons were common enough, but a tournament involving hundreds of mages was unprecedented. It was a testament to how eccentric (and insane, many considered) the Harpells are, Kethin thought.

Outside the flowing walls were large fields on the outskirts of Longsaddle. It was a warm morning in late summer, the first winds of autumn were beginning to blow, and the trees were just beginning to turn. Many of the participants in the competition, as well as several townsfolk and people who traveled specifically to enjoy the tournament, were watching at a cautious distance, despite the protective field.

Well then, he thought, let’s give them a performance.

He turned his attention to the duel at hand. In the preliminary rounds, competitors were paired off and fought in placement matches to decide how (or if) they proceed. Across the field stood two wizards; one was heavily tattooed, with a gaunt, pale complexion, heavy, black robes and a rune-inscribed staff. The other was tattooed as well, but with bright red robes; likely one of Thay’s famed Red Wizards, Kethin thought. He was surprised the news of the tournament traveled so far, Thay was over a thousand miles to the east.

By his side was Haessa. He was lucky enough to be paired with her in the preliminary rounds, though suspected she may have had something to do with that. She looked as radiant as ever, though she seemed to have an almost demonic determination before combat, among other occasions.

I heard that, sounded her voice in her head. Along with their usual pre-battle enchantments, Kethin had cast a spell to establish a telepathic bond between them, so they could coordinate more easily. Despite the comment, he was positive she hadn’t “heard” his latest appraisal of her; those in such bonds had to specifically send thoughts to one another.

No, you’re right, I can’t hear what you’re thinking at all, she sent, and Kethin chuckled at her antics, despite her unspoken remark on his predictability.

“Ready yourselves!” cried Bidderdoo Harpell, the referee for this particular match. Kethin reviewed his strategy once again and called the mind the arcane syllables and somatic movements for the spells he intended to cast.

“Begin!”

As one, they stepped into the cube.

[BigRob]

Whew, found some time to get some thoughts together on this and do a post. OK, basically, the idea of the mageduel tournament sounds like it has some potential for an interesting bit of fan fiction, and it sounds like you've got some ideas in place for character interaction at least bewtween the two protagonists.

 

I would suggest (if you're not already going to) keeping some kind of story flowing through the duels, perhaps some previous or developing rivalry with a particular mage, development of a new spell or spell combination, revelation of some plot to steal the artifact, maybe a completely unconnected personal issue to one of the protagonists that surfaces and weaves through the battles (an old flame present at Longsaddle for their own reasons). That will help tie the battles together and make them feel one, rather than a collection of roughly connected events.

 

There aren't any particular rules about posting fiction in the Fanfic subforum, you can pretty much go for your apples in there.

 

 

Your style seems perfectly readable, though I've not read any of the battle sequences themselves yet. Personally, I find those quite hard to write and keep interesting, so I've no real advice (as I call the drivel I spout) on that.

 

 

Some thoughts about specific points:

 

These aren’t normal circumstances, Kethin reminded himself. Mageduels during large events as entertainment or for other reasons were common enough, but a tournament involving hundreds of mages was unprecedented. It was a testament to how eccentric (and insane, many considered) the Harpells are, Kethin thought.

When using brackets, unless what's within them is a complete point or thought, I find it helps reading comprehension if what's in the brackets would work if the brackets weren't there. As such, I'd reword the bracketed bit to read: "and, many considered, insane"

 

 

 

Outside the flowing walls were large fields on the outskirts of Longsaddle. It was a warm morning in late summer, the first winds of autumn were beginning to blow, and the trees were just beginning to turn.

While not a serious problem, repeating words in a sentence does sound odd while reading, so I'd change one of the "beginning"s in there to "starting or something similar.

[Grand_Dracolich]

I would suggest (if you're not already going to) keeping some kind of story flowing through the duels, perhaps some previous or developing rivalry with a particular mage, development of a new spell or spell combination, revelation of some plot to steal the artifact, maybe a completely unconnected personal issue to one of the protagonists that surfaces and weaves through the battles (an old flame present at Longsaddle for their own reasons). That will help tie the battles together and make them feel one, rather than a collection of roughly connected events.

Thanks, I was going to do that already. A background plot where it's unsure what group is the real antagonist (Shadovar, Zhentarim, Red Wizards, etc.), it'll follow a spellsword bounty-hunter/mercenary/assassin (though I'm not sure how he'll tie in, I'm still storyboarding) and a frost mage, and some background on the protagonist, himself, though I was considering making that another story, as I've always hated it when it breaks the current events to give backstory, and it's not initially clear how it ties in (Blackstaff, anyone?).

 

When using brackets, unless what's within them is a complete point or thought, I find it helps reading comprehension if what's in the brackets would work if the brackets weren't there. As such, I'd reword the bracketed bit to read: "and, many considered, insane"

In that case, I think dashes would work better than brackets. "how eccentric--and insane, many considered--the Harpells are," for example.

 

While not a serious problem, repeating words in a sentence does sound odd while reading, so I'd change one of the "beginning"s in there to "starting or something similar.

Ah, thanks, I missed that in proof-reading.

 

I'm still writing a combat scene, but it's slow, as I'm still generating the characters, pen and paper-style, and it's being slowed down by constant arguments with a friend of mine on the subject of min-maxing, which rarely works as a literary element.

[Grand_Dracolich]

Wheeee, I return from an horrible collegiate crash and burn (And hilariously still got a job working at said university as an advising assistant and tutor )!

 

I'm still considering possibly trying to attempt to contemplate writing a Forgotten Realms story centered on mages, but a large mage-duel tournament (even considering the Harpells) is a bit silly in retrospect. I might try something Harry Potter-ish (from the faculty's standpoint, this time! ) set in one of Silverymoon's or Waterdeep's academies. It would give me a chance to flesh out and give my views on the FR magic system, which is my absolute favourite from any game ever. Any thoughts?