Thought I'd add my input as a bit of criticism, seeing as how useless the troll's "feedback" was. Hoping I don't come off too harshly but as a full-time game designer I feel like it's important to provide workable and unfiltered feedback. I only really had time to go through a couple of these cleric kits from FNP while on my lunch break so sorry for formatting and what not. Not really used to forum websites.
PRIEST OF TYR: Often depicted as blind with a bloody bandage over his eyes and missing his right hand, Tyr, the Maimed God, is the lawful good deity of law and justice. He is primarily concerned with the punishment of wrongdoers as well as the general furthering of law and good in the world, disdaining duplicity, trickery, rule-breaking, and wanton destruction. The belief in justice through (benevolent) force, or at least armed vigilance, is the reason for Tyr's existence. As the leader of the coalition of lawful good deities known as the Triad, Tyr holds great prominence in Faerûnian pantheon. Worshipers of Tyr are typically judges, magistrates, the oppressed, paladins, and police.
[Small format fix suggested below for readability and organization, as well as following the setup in AD&D 2E from Faiths & Avatars sourcebook.]
Focus sphere: Protection
Major spheres: All, Life, War, Knowledge, Vigor
Minor spheres: Death, Destruction, Thought, Dread, Light, Magic
Abilities [small syntax fix: "Advantages"]:
– May cast...once per day every 5 levels (starts at 1st level with one use).
– May cast...every 10 levels of the caster (starts at 1st level with one use).
(Notes: Both could benefit from following the syntax of other existing class descriptions, though these inconsistencies tend to come from the original game itself. The current iteration suggests the caster receives an additional use of these spells at levels 5/10/15|10/20/30, when in actuality the additional uses come in at levels 6/11/16|11/21/31.)
[Suggested fixes:]
– May cast Exaltation once per day. Gains one use at level 1 and an additional use every 5 levels thereafter.
– May cast Divine Favor once per day. Gains one use at level 1 and an an additional use every 10 levels thereafter.
MAGISTRATI OF AZUTH: Azuth is a lesser deity who assists Mystra, the Mother
of Magic, in tending to the Weave, the very fabric upon which all magic is drawn on Toril. Azuthan clergy tend to love magic for its own sake. They have a natural familiarity with and access to arcane spells. Specialty priests of Azuth are known as Magistrati.
Major spheres: All, Life, Destruction, Protection, Knowledge, Light, Magic
Minor spheres: Exploration, Deception, Thought, Dread, Vigor, Fire, Shadow
Abilities [small syntax fix: "Advantages"]:
– From 5th level, once per day, a Magistrati can concentrate and briefly increase his ability to understand and identify the workings of magical items. (Notes: could probably use shorter, more concise explanation as to what this ability does, and could benefit from following the syntax of other class descriptions. Flavor text generally does not belong in the technical section.)
[Suggested fix:] May cast Identify (if I'm understanding this ability correctly) once per day starting at 5th level.
– Can use scrolls and wands normally restricted to wizards.
Disadvantages:
– Alignment restricted to any non-evil.
– May not dual class.
DOOMMASTER OF BESHABA: Beshaba, [M]aid of [M]isfortune [referred to often as Lady Doom] [and the evil sister of Lady Tymora], is the jealous (source?) goddess [chaotic evil deity] of ill-fate [accidents, bad luck, misfortune, and random mischief, and a member of Tempus' pantheon]. Not worshiped so much as feared, she demands tribute, or at least lip service, else she is like[l]y to doom those that offend her to a life of failure. [Beshaba's doctrine dictates that bad luck will befall everybody and the only way to avoid it is to worship her. Thus, she is revered more out of fear than out of religious faith. Her priests work to ensure that her ego is adequately sated (?). Doommasters of Beshaba are the best known order of specialty priests in her service, for the way they revel in the infliction of misfortune upon others.]
Major spheres: All, Life, Death, Protection, Thought, Dread
Minor spheres: Destruction, Knowledge, Deception, Vigor, Affliction, Magic
Abilities [small syntax fix: "Advantages"]:
– Doommasters can cast a special version of the doom spell at will. It can be used once, and only once, on a given opponent.
(Notes: Could greatly benefit from explanation. What makes the ability special, and how does it differ from the Doom spell? Does it have a different casting time, duration, range, etc.? Spells like this should be described in the section below. Also, Doom doesn't stack with itself on a target either way, so the second line is unneccessary. Unless you meant that you cannot ever cast the spell on the same creature again? That should be clarified.)
– Doommasters gain a +1 bonus to all saves.
– At 7th level, the doommaster can cast misfire as a special ability once per day. Misfire works as the spell of the same name. The doommaster can use this ability an additional time per day at levels 10, 13, 16, and 19.
[Syntax fix:] Can cast Misfire once per day starting at 7th level, and gains an additional use every 3 levels therafter up to level 19.
(Notes: Spells and other named abilities are case-sensitive, and should be capitalized to prevent confusion. "Misfire works as the spell of the same name"—this spell does not exist in the original game and warrants further explanation. No other class descriptions provide a new spell without describing its uses in the description below, and spells aren't usually described as "special abilities" even if they are technically innate abilities.)
– At 10th level, the doommaster can cast misfortune. he can use this ability one additional time at levels 15, and 20.
(Notes: Again, spells and abilities are case-sensitive. "One additional time" is inconsistent with other descriptions. Try your best to follow the syntax of the existing game language to keep things kosher. This is important when creating homebrew, mods, or any custom content for a game. It not only shows you have a deep understanding of the game and its logic, but that you care to put the effort into the game's (and your) design philosophy. Forgetting to capitalize or spellcheck your document before submitting is also bad form for content creation on any platform, Infinity Engine or otherwise. There are several websites that will check your documents and what not for free, or you can have a friend do it.)
[Syntax fix:] Can cast Misfortune once per day starting at 10th level, and gains an additional use at levels 15 and 20.
MISFORTUNE: This abilty curses the target, causing them a penalty of -10 penalty to THAC0, saves and AC for one round/level if they fail a save vs. spell.
(Notes: The massively overpowered effect aside hahaha, this description should probably be proofread and try to be following existing game syntax (receive [penalty]). It should also be clarified whether or not this is also an existing spell like Misfire, since its description refers to it as an ability but reads like a spell.)
[Syntax fix:] MISFORTUNE: This (spell/ability) curses the target, [flavor flavor flavor]. For the duration of 1 round/level, the target receives a -10 penalty to their THAC0, AC, and Saving Throws if they fail a save vs. Spells.
[Balance suggestion/don't reinvent the wheel:] Why not just give the doommaster a 1/day Greater Malison, since the spell already exists and is pretty balanced? It fits the theme, and undoubtedly would be very useful in many situations. The current iteration just encourages cheeseloading on single creature encounters.
Restrictions [Minor syntax fix: "Disadvantages":]
– Alignment: Any evil or chaotic neutral
[Minor syntax fix:] Alignment restricted to any evil or chaotic neutral.
These are just three examples, and it gets a bit worse as you go, unfortunately. By worse I don't mean it's a bad mod just that there are more issues as you go lol. I don't agree with the way the "feedback" was presented by Gushwinder (esp. the install issues, which are an easy fix after reading the forums), and I don't mean to play devil's advocate, but when it comes to the game design of the UA mods they do leave a lot to be desired as far as reading or design quality goes. I can't speak for the mechanics much! I think a good readover of the entire UA mods would benefit it greatly, balancing aside (I don't know much about balancing myself).
Cheers!