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Comments on "A Reverie"


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I don't have too many comments to make on this one, but I hope you certainly intend to finish this one Domi. ;-)


However, and I know I have mistakes when I post too, there is some odd word choice here:


Neither the strongest, nor the quickest of his children, yet, by far the most stubborn, sais curtly:


The word "sais" I think you meant to use "sighs" Heh, I was getting this image of a Japanese three-pronged knife getting angry.


Also another one was "sparing with Alevein for a good half-an-hour. " when I think you meant "sparring."


There were only a few other choices like this, as well as verb tenses that could be edited, but it didn't detract from my enjoyment of the story.


However, it is a clear reading, and I hope you get a chance to finish it.

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