Bri Posted November 3, 2004 Share Posted November 3, 2004 Let me first state that I didn't really catch too much dislike of Keldorn in the story. Oh, it was definitely not pro-Keldorn, but that is a fair stance to take in a story. After all, he does favor duty over his family, though as a paladin he should be able to balance both. I will admit that this is some of your clearest writing I've seen Domi. A theme I liked and you introduced was how Vesper was growing up...and Keldorn wasn't there at all. The only part that had me partially scratching my head was the small bit with Sir Ryan. Did Keldorn do something, and now he is in trouble? Or will this be expounded later? Link to comment
Domi Posted November 3, 2004 Share Posted November 3, 2004 quote Let me first state that I didn't really catch too much dislike of Keldorn in the story. Oh, it was definitely not pro-Keldorn, but that is a fair stance to take in a story. I am glad to hear it After all, he does favor duty over his family, though as a paladin he should be able to balance both. nodds I will admit that this is some of your clearest writing I've seen Domi. Thank you! That's the best compliment - I did so hope that I was improving A theme I liked and you introduced was how Vesper was growing up...and Keldorn wasn't there at all. Keldorn - coming soon in the story near you! Link to comment
BigRob Posted November 4, 2004 Share Posted November 4, 2004 Good stuff Domi. I like the idea of a little slice of life behind the scenes of BG2, away from all the liches, dungeons and ancient evils. Vesper's got her problems too, and lucky for her they don't involve a crazed soulless mage. Link to comment
Domi Posted November 4, 2004 Share Posted November 4, 2004 Oh, I am afraid that ancient evil is going to make its appearance soon enough Link to comment
BigRob Posted November 5, 2004 Share Posted November 5, 2004 Well, anyone who plays BG2 knows Amn's all but crawling with ancient evils anyway. Link to comment
Domi Posted November 6, 2004 Share Posted November 6, 2004 'Be careful not to step in any' as Minsc would have said Getting there! Link to comment
Bri Posted November 19, 2004 Author Share Posted November 19, 2004 I still am reading it Domi ;-) Anyways, the only thing I really found incongruos is in the various last part you added with Sir Kamir...you use the word 'mopping' when I believe you meant 'moping'. Unless you meant a 'mopping up' operation on cleaning out the goblins. Heh, normally I gloss over minor stuff, but this one did change the meaning of the sentence for me briefly. I had this image of a person in full metal armor...mopping the headstones in a cemetary. Link to comment
Domi Posted November 19, 2004 Share Posted November 19, 2004 *giggles* thank you. will chane for sure. And if you see anything else weird, please let me know! Link to comment
Shadowhawke Posted November 26, 2004 Share Posted November 26, 2004 I just finished reading what you've written, Domi. Great work! . I'll agree with Bri that it is indeed your clearest work ever. Also, the story, plot, and characters have all been very well developed. Congratulations... and I'm waiting for more. Link to comment
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