Bri Posted June 21, 2004 Share Posted June 21, 2004 Let me first start off with saying that I'm glad you included spacing as well Loke. It really does make it easier to read, especially large works. Just a few minor bits where the spacing was a little off, but that isn't a big deal to me. It was a good start, though as you mentioned at the end, there will be more to come, and I'm looking forward to it. After all, in Planescape: Torment, they don't really tell you what happens with the other individuals (assuming they were brought back to life by the Nameless One), and it is reasonable to assume that happened. Of the people mentioned, Annah was by far the most likely one to end up trapped in some kind of prison, or in this case, the prison along with Haer Dalis'. And for the most part you managed to keep Annah's tone properly, even down to giving her accent. (This is a minor gripe I had with the game, not your work, in that it seemed like they tried too hard to exaggerate her accent). But of course, that is a lot of her attraction, and glad you kept it. I will be honest, I was more of a Falls-from-Grace fan (if she only had red hair...ah well) Heh, and I loved how she told your namesake in the story to stop gawping at her and get a move on ;-) At least after her adventures with the man who couldn't die, tooling around with a Bhaalspawn won't be that much of a stretch. Link to comment
Loké Posted June 21, 2004 Share Posted June 21, 2004 One thing I'm trying to do is make her call Loké 'laddie' whenever she's feeling snide or upset or.. well. Not feeling like being gentle. Which will be most of the time. Link to comment
Bri Posted July 25, 2004 Author Share Posted July 25, 2004 I am glad you avoided describing the battle scenes to retake the Keep. When I wrote "In Sheep's Clothing" I know that it took me 18 pages to finish it...much to long, and boring to read. But yes, Annah would look at the idea of a hereditary nobility as somewhat stupid. Not that power can't be passed down through the bloodline, but in the case of humans, where there is no discernable difference from one generation to the next, this wouldn't make much sense. Link to comment
BigRob Posted July 27, 2004 Share Posted July 27, 2004 Good stuff Loke. Annah's obviously not your traditional adventurer, but maybe Loke can convince her to come along for more, eh? Link to comment
Loké Posted July 27, 2004 Share Posted July 27, 2004 She's going to tag along, make no mistake. Link to comment
Bri Posted August 16, 2004 Author Share Posted August 16, 2004 Well, I would certainly hope Annah could figure her way out of being capture on the Prime Material Plane. Sigil tends to be much nastier, harder for example. But poor Annah, jailed for a murder she wasn't responsible for. And tiefling's don't exactly benefit from anonymity on Faerun. Heh, and that always bothered me with summoning (in regard to the part you posted before the last one). Here you are, minding your own business (say if you were monster of some sort), and suddenly found yourself whisked away and transported to a field of battle, and found yourself under someone else's control. And for f**k's sake C&C it please! Maybe I should start posting this in some other forums too. There is nothing wrong with sharing your work on other sites as well. I would cringe if any one place tried to enforce an exclusivity rule ;-) More seriously, the fanfiction section here isn't necessarily the busiest place of all. On the other hand, look at the total number of your reads. Over 270 of them. That isn't bad, not by a long stretch. Additionally, sometimes there just isn't a need to post. I know that when I do get time to read, I don't always post if I don't think I have something worthwhile to say. Link to comment
Loké Posted August 16, 2004 Share Posted August 16, 2004 And for f**k's sake C&C it please! Maybe I should start posting this in some other forums too. There is nothing wrong with sharing your work on other sites as well. I would cringe if any one place tried to enforce an exclusivity rule ;-) More seriously, the fanfiction section here isn't necessarily the busiest place of all. On the other hand, look at the total number of your reads. Over 270 of them. That isn't bad, not by a long stretch. Additionally, sometimes there just isn't a need to post. I know that when I do get time to read, I don't always post if I don't think I have something worthwhile to say. Yea, I know. I was just thinknig aloud. i know this isn't the busiest place. i suppose I'd better give FWS and PPG a visit... I'm already registered at both but I don't visit that often... As for your last sentance, I know. I hang around fanfiction.net alot (I'm actually posting this story there) and I often don't post comments. Link to comment
Loké Posted August 27, 2004 Share Posted August 27, 2004 Okay, did a small update because I'm not too sure about the scene I wrote, so postin git for C&C. Link to comment
Bri Posted September 1, 2004 Author Share Posted September 1, 2004 Well, Annah being drunk is easy enough to see happening. And drinking does loosen one's tongue...I do know that with the Nameless One in Planescape she wouldn't be quite so straightforward. Heh, and at least with drinking, she can always blame the alcohol. Link to comment
Tameon the Dragoon Posted September 2, 2004 Share Posted September 2, 2004 Ohhh, it keeps gettin' better and better! I love it! You know, there is only two fanfics out there that I keep up with: Missing in Action (a Suikoden III fanfic) and your Tormented BGII. It's just that interesting! Update! Update! I wanna see what happens next! Link to comment
Loké Posted September 2, 2004 Share Posted September 2, 2004 Well, Annah being drunk is easy enough to see happening. And drinking does loosen one's tongue...I do know that with the Nameless One in Planescape she wouldn't be quite so straightforward. Heh, and at least with drinking, she can always blame the alcohol. Darn. I must have to work on that. Annah's totally sober, Loké's the one who's rat-arsed. I figured it would remvoe his inhibitions as it does, but also wanted to take him down a few pegs. So far he's been a pretty one dimensional 'always saving annah' character. I wanted him to mess up a bit. EDIT: Oki, posted a fixed version. And Just for you Tameon, I've posted my current progress. Link to comment
Bri Posted September 2, 2004 Author Share Posted September 2, 2004 Now, I didn't say you should change it. The Annah in Planescape is a bit naive, at least in matters of the heart, and expressing desires. This one has matured somewhat since those events... Link to comment
Loké Posted September 3, 2004 Share Posted September 3, 2004 Nooo, what I've changed is I've slipped a bit fo text in saying that she's sober, that's all. Link to comment
Tameon the Dragoon Posted November 19, 2004 Share Posted November 19, 2004 Um...um...whatever became of this? Has Lok'e decided not to update any longer? Poo... Link to comment
Rastor Posted November 20, 2004 Share Posted November 20, 2004 That is a shame. I just found this and was really enjoying reading it. Link to comment
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