Bri Posted July 4, 2004 Share Posted July 4, 2004 Poor Aru. I have a feeling he won't make his next promotion. That's the problem with being a hero. For every one that makes it, 1000 more tend to fill graves. He is just lucky he was only wounded. And to add insult to injury, it was just his job. It's not like he gets combat pay. Well written, and you showed the corruption of the guards well, and what happens to one of the few good cops on the force. Link to comment
BobTokyo Posted July 4, 2004 Share Posted July 4, 2004 Thank you Bri. I don't know if Aru is a good cop. He's not above taking the odd small bribe, or making use of the odd privilege. He is trying to be a good cop, which is something anyway. EDIT: Small revisions made to help with story flow. Link to comment
Domi Posted July 4, 2004 Share Posted July 4, 2004 I liked two settings of the story - the dialogue between Aru and Venik and the bhaalspwan's escapade in the background. The portrail of the guard and his attitude towards his job was lovely - a nice veiwpoint shift and a chance to see Athkatlan life from inside. Liked the scroll description - great touch - "had a tendency to glow" introduced a small humorous note in the author's voice. A nit - and a very subjective nit "three children and abundant wife" -it is on the verge of almost over-doing the feeling of "the most typical common-place guy", because three children is such a staple. Link to comment
BobTokyo Posted July 4, 2004 Share Posted July 4, 2004 Thank you Domi. You may be right about the overly typical home life of Venk. I'll think about it. Link to comment
BigRob Posted July 5, 2004 Share Posted July 5, 2004 I liked it a lot, very well written. It adds a sense of complexity to the guard's life and makes you feel sorry for those faceless saps we wipe out now and then. Like it said in Austin Powers: "No one ever thinks how things affect the family of a henchman." Link to comment
BobTokyo Posted July 5, 2004 Share Posted July 5, 2004 I liked it a lot, very well written. It adds a sense of complexity to the guard's life and makes you feel sorry for those faceless saps we wipe out now and then. Like it said in Austin Powers: "No one ever thinks how things affect the family of a henchman." Thanks BR. That's probably worth a short story itself; a petition reache the council from the famillies of the legally employed Copper Coronet guards and Cowled Wizards slaughtered by CHARNAME . . . Link to comment
Recommended Posts
Archived
This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.