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See, this? This is why I'm seeing that Jupiter movie...


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The plot is this: the Wachowskis were given an extraordinary amount of money to make whatever the hell they wanted, and what they wanted to make is exactly what we all, secretly, deep down, want to make: the big-screen adaptation of that Stargate fanfic you wrote when you were fourteen that really went off the rails and began to inhabit its own universe, complete with original characters, wolf-men, and bees. That’s Jupiter Ascending.


I mean, I want to have a serious discussion about the film’s plot, but I honestly can’t. I can’t because it just doesn’t matter. It doesn’t matter! What about the plot could possibly matter when part of it involves Mila Kunis as the reincarnation of an ancient space princess who falls in love with a Channing Tatum-shaped half-wolf hybrid angel alien with anti-gravity roller skates and a great debt to pay off? That’s Jupiter Ascending.

(from "Review: Jupiter Ascending Is The Worst Movie Ever Go See It Immediately" http://www.themarysue.com/review-jupiter-ascending-the-worst/)

I cut my teeth on old-school space opera novels (possibly literally). I can't not see this. I just... can't.

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I have gone; I have seen; I have had a lot of fun.


Think Chronicles of Riddick for pageantry and scenery-chewing, with a few notes of Cordwainer Smith and Cyteen.


I don't think I've actually seen a movie with Channing Tatum before, but he can come over and read me poetry any day. And I was, frankly, very surprised when

Sean Bean's character survived to the end of the movie. Good for him!


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Ooh, somebody who has read both The Rediscovery of Man and Cyteen? You are clearly antipodean me. I claim my seat as a stowaway in Rimrunners.


And Jupiter Ascending was pretty good fun in a Stardust/Matrix/Tron way. :D


(Hi folks. Still alive.)

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