Eirik's Joining Dialog

[berelinde]

Since at least part of Eirik's story is going to be a love story, don't be afraid of a little parenthetical hand-holding.

 

What is weak in dialog can be powerful in short flirts, but that depends on the NPC. Eirik is a more confident, forthright guy, so he's going to have words for situations that leave poor, hesitant Gavin speechless.

 

Hypothetical situation: Eirik and Gavin are both going to attepmt to flirt with Branwen about her hair.

 

Eirik: Branwen, your hair shines like spun gold in the sunlight!

 

Gavin: *Sweeps a strand of hair behind Branwen's ear, mesmerized by the light dancing along it.*

Gavin: Whoops!

Branwen: You should watch where you are going, Gavin. Here, let me help you up.

 

 

Of course, the question remains whether or not Branwen punching Eirik for his cheek would be done parenthetically or through dialog

[Domi]

Heh, I hope we're not scaring poor guy with out advice Write, on, dude! Everyone writes by ear, and I am sure you can figure out what's right for the character.

[berelinde]

At least we care, if that's any consolation...

[EiriktheScald]

@Domi: Not to worry, I was away most of the day. Advice, constructive criticism, whatever is welcome. I write dry technical reports for a living!

 

@berelinde: Oh! So that's what action text is! *slaps forehead*

 

@Kulyok: Thanks, I'll take look at that ref. later

 

When I write, I run through the scene, over and over, placing spoken and action text in a sequence until it seems right to me. I'm sure my editor will help me with that later.

[EiriktheScald]

Hypothetical situation: Eirik and Gavin are both going to attepmt to flirt with Branwen about her hair.

 

Eirik: Branwen, your hair shines like spun gold in the sunlight!

 

Gavin: *Sweeps a strand of hair behind Branwen's ear, mesmerized by the light dancing along it.*

Gavin: Whoops!

Branwen: You should watch where you are going, Gavin. Here, let me help you up.

 

 

Of course, the question remains whether or not Branwen punching Eirik for his cheek would be done parenthetically or through dialog

 

Hypothetically speaking, of course, Eirik would know better

[EiriktheScald]

The beauty of not having the action text, though, is that you leave it to the player to infuse whatever meaning. As a rule of thumb, I write with actions text first, and then every time I go over the file, or see stuff at game while testing, I delete everything that looks like it can be deleted. For example, I'd get rid from both "In hushed voice" and "Defensive stance" and "looking at the wolf's lifeless bofy" and would have replaced "points to the north" with the speech 'two leagues journey northwards'

 

But I want to emphasise that it *is* a matter of taste.

Would it be obvious to the player that Eirik is not actually yelling Halt!? The exclamation here was meant to convey urgency. Put another way, how could this urgency be described, as opposed to yelling, without the action text?

[berelinde]

Capital letters convey shouting.

[EiriktheScald]

I will be away all next week visiting family for the holidays. In the meantime, an updated version of the dialog in its entirety for your reading pleasure. Happy Holidays! (If you have a holiday, that is )

 

 

/*The Coast Way (Area FW2800), on the north edge of the road leading to the Friendly Arm Inn.*/

/*As the PC approaches, Eirik is set upon by a wolf.*/

Eirik: Listen! The wind howls with wolf-voices, draw your blades!

 

/*Wolf advances*/

Eirik: Flee hound! Though your belly be empty, flee if you value your filthy hide! Or I shall run you through!

 

/*Wolf snarls and springs into action*/

 

/*Continue after wolf attack*/

Eirik: The denizens of this wood are restless. Eirik, skald of the northland I am. 'Tis welcome you arrived when you did. You're the first group to brave this road all day. Who are you? And what is your haste?

PC: 1. Friends await, I was told I might find them at the Friendly Arm Inn. Might you have passed it on the way? [to FriendlyArm]

2. Who, or what, make the roads unsafe for travel? [to CoastWay]

3. Yes, I've encountered them too! A hungry wolf is a dreadful thing, it is best not to travel on this road alone. [to Aye]

4. Forgive me, but I choose not to share your company. Leave me to my business. [to Leave]

 

/*FriendlyArm*/

Eirik: Indeed I have; there it lies, two leagues journey northwards.

PC: I thank you. <CHARNAME> is my name. What do you seek on this road? [to LongRoad]

 

/*CoastWay*/

Eirik: All I can tell you is that bandits have been causing trouble, you'd be best to avoid them. But let us speak no more of these things upon the open road!

PC: Agreed, I am <CHARNAME>. North is the Friendly Arm Inn, where friends await. What do you seek on this road? [to LongRoad]

 

/*Aye*/

Eirik: Aye, a bear you can hear walking up and sniffing around; wolves are sneaky. They're smart, they're fast and they're deadly. They lay in wait! But let us speak no more of these things upon the open road!

PC: Agreed, I am <CHARNAME>. North is the Friendly Arm Inn, where friends await. What do you seek on this road? [to LongRoad]

 

/*LongRoad*/

Eirik: A long road it has been for me, <CHARNAME>... but one I must travel nonetheless. Eight days did I journey from my homeland, by sea, arriving in Waterdeep some months ago. I sought to be reunited with a friend, but learned she did not stay in that city for very long. Alas, despite my best hopes, her present whereabouts are still unknown to me. *He pauses, his expression becoming one of resignation.*

PC: You are welcome to accompany me if you wish. [to ThankYou]

 

/*ThankYou*/

Eirik: I thank you for your fair words, but I make haste for Nashkel. The people of the town are desperate for mercenaries. Perhaps I will find her there.

PC: 1. It's settled then, I'm already going to Nashkel. [to Join]

2. I would join with you, but I must meet someone first. Perhaps you will go with me? [to Join]

3. Then farewell, and may you find whom you seek! [to Farewell]

 

/*Join*/

Eirik: Indeed? Then we should definitely travel as one, your company would be most welcome!

 

Far from home on a long road,

And wary of the way:

Rich I felt when I found another;

Enjoying their company,

 

A kind word need not cost much,

The price of praise may be cheap:

With nary a coin and an empty cup

I found myself a friend.

 

[End Dialog] (Eirik joins party).

 

/*Farewell*/

Eirik: We both have need of haste, your friends await, and every day lessens my hope. Farewell! [End Dialog]

 

/*Leave*/

Eirik: Fools! Discretion is one thing, but rudeness is quite another! Go now, whither you will. [End Dialog]

[berelinde]

Were you planning to make Eirik available somewhere else should the party refuse his services initially (and note that you're going to want to add a polite refusal option)?

 

If the party indicates that the would like to meet him later, you could always do an EscapeAreaMove("FWxxxx",x,y,face) to get him to show up somewhere else.

[EiriktheScald]

Well, I can't imagine someone installing this mod and not wanting him to join, but the option is there just in case.

 

Polite refusal?

[berelinde]

Some people have more than one game going at a time, each with different party composition, and others like to cycle through NPCs. You're always going to want to allow them to do this easily. Mods that railroad a player into a specific playing style or into keeping an NPC the whole game are usually the subject of a fair bit of grumbling. That is the reason that I have not yet tried Tortured Souls, even though the concept sounds cool, and I *would* like to try it one of these days. Well, that and a complicated installation, but it's mostly because it's an all-or-nothing mod, and I'm an a la carte player.

 

In Eirik's case, I agree that players will get the most benefit from keeping him the whole time to watch his story unfold, but they have their own stories going, too, and the Bhaalspawn saga takes priority. It doesn't hurt to have the different chapters of Eirik's story well-developed enough to stand on their own, if a player should decide to retain him for a while, but then let him go. You're going to eventually have to think about how you're going to work his romance with Branwen into this. For example, what will Branwen do if Eirik is kicked out? I would expect that if the PC kicked Eirik out after the PC had already beaten Eirik for Branwen's affection, Branwen would stay with the party. I would expect that she might leave if it were the other way around. *Unless* she had already made that hard decision...

 

In the end, you're the only one who can decide how you're going to write the mod, though. If you decide that players should use Eirik for the whole time or not at all, you risk discouraging some players from installing the mod, but that is your decision.

 

Polite refusal: Eirik, would you mind meeting us, say, in Nashkel? We've got these two louts, Montaron and Xzar, with us, and we've promised to take them that far.

 

Eirik: Oh. I s'pose.

[EiriktheScald]

Ah, I see. It was difficult for me to let go of NPCs when their story wasn't finished. I'll wordsmith the farewell to an "if we meet again" type response. Not so easy for some parts of the story.

 

You may have noticed that a couple of the PC responses were "borrowed." They work, but I need to replace them, less they become over-used.

 

Anything else that I may have overlooked?

[berelinde]

Dialog looks good.

 

Got a bunch of stuff that might make things easier (in other words, that I had to find out the hard way), but I'll shoot you a PM later on. I'm feeling another flash of inspiration coming, so I'd better get writing on Gavin before it's gone.

 

Development hint: buy yourself a digital voice recorder. They're cheap and convenient. You have no idea how many good ideas strike you while you're driving!

 

Edit: and the buggers never have any insurance

[BigRob]

Ah, I see. It was difficult for me to let go of NPCs when their story wasn't finished. I'll wordsmith the farewell to an "if we meet again" type response. Not so easy for some parts of the story.

 

At least for the initial part of the story, it might make sense for him to head south to Nashkel on Branwen's trail, and then not realise where he has to go from there. Maybe he doesn't go to the carnival because he figures that Branwen wouldn't go there and waits in the town proper, hoping for Branwen to arrive. You can always make him move after a certain number of days (looking for bandit hunters?), and maybe leave indications of where he went so players can go and find him again.

[berelinde]

I like the idea that Eirik is moving South looking for Branwen without waiting and that the party might catch up with him. The party usually hits Feldposts at some point while travelling through Beregost.

 

You could have the bartender there interject into his own dialog if Eirik was encoutered, did not join, but given every reason to believe that the party wanted to catch up with him. The bartender could say that Eirik left a note with his whereabouts, then give the party the note.

 

Find out what dialog file that particular bartender uses, then add:

 

I_C_T ~_BARTxx~ 0 EirikLeftMessage
== ~_BARTxx~ IF ~!InParty("ESEirik") Global("ESEirikWentOnAhead","GLOBAL",1)~ THEN ~Eirik, you say? Blond man, nasty scar? Aye, I've seen him. Left not a day ago, headed south, he said. Here. Now, was there anything else I can help you with?~
END

ADD_TRANS_ACTION ~_BARTxx~ BEGIN 0 END BEGIN END
~GiveCreateItem("ESNote",Player1,0,0,0)~

 

If that won't work, somebody please point it out, so Eirik doesn't go and use it if it's wrong!

 

Then, the note could say that Eirik had no luck in Beregost, possibly even mislead by Tranzig, and went south to Nashkel to try there, and that he planned to ask at the Belching Dragon, the Inn, and the Temple before going on. The party would luck out, of course and run into him at the Belching Dragon (since we know there's an unpleasant surprise waiting at the Inn on the party's first trip through, and we don't want Eirik involved in that.)

 

And if the party didn't go to Beregost, they might still meet him at the Belching Dragon. Eirik could ask if it was luck, or if they got his note.