Eirik's Joining Dialog

[EiriktheScald]

This isn’t the whole thing, just a preview. And the final dialog may change slightly, but enjoy anyway.

 

 

[The Coast Way (Area FW2800), on the north edge of the road leading to the Friendly Arm Inn.]

\\As the PC approaches

Eirik: *In a hushed voice* Halt! Halt! The wind howls with wolf-voices; draw your blades! The hunt is up!

 

\\Wolf advances

Eirik: *Levels sword in defensive stance* Listen hound, though your belly be empty, flee if you value your scruffy hide! Or I shall run you through!

 

\\Wolf snarls and springs into action

 

\\After attack is resolved

Eirik: Eirik, skald of the northland I am. *Glances at the wolf's lifeless body* The denizens of this wood are restless. 'Tis welcome you arrived when you did. I haven't met a soul since I started on this lonesome road. Who are you? And what is your haste?

PC: 1. I am <CHARNAME>, friends await. I was told I might find them at the Friendly Arm Inn. Might you have passed it on the road, north of here? [to ThatWay]

2. So I've heard; I am <CHARNAME>. It may be that more people are hunting for their food, I'd watch yourself while traveling this road. [to LongRoad]

3. Yes, I've encountered them too! I am <CHARNAME>. A hungry wolf is a dreadful thing, and I wouldn't travel this road alone if I were you. [to LongRoad]

 

[ThatWay]

Eirik: Indeed, there it lies; *pointing away northwards* about 2 leagues' journey.

PC: I thank you. What brings you down this road? [to LongRoad]

 

[LongRoad]

Eirik: A long road it has been for me, <CHARNAME>... but one I must travel nonetheless. Eight days did I journey from my homeland, by sea. Arriving in Waterdeep, I sought to be reunited with a friend, but learned she had departed that city long ago. Alas, despite my best hopes, her current whereabouts are unknown. *He pauses, his expression becoming one of resignation.* I make haste for Nashkel. I'm told the people of the town are desperate for mercenaries. Perhaps she went there.

 

 

I haven't decided how much detail about his travels to include here, so discussion about it may alter slightly.

[berelinde]

Very nice! Don't forget, though, that you're going to have to give him the chance to join, or the pc a chance to refuse his offer.

[EiriktheScald]

Yes, of course. I'm not going to reveal everything here, just whet your appetite!

[berelinde]

Tease.

[BigRob]

Good start. The speech style has a lot of character potential and the little exposition on his mission slots into the conversation natuarally.

[Domi]

I think it's really good detail wise now. He can talk in more details after joining either as a Player-Initiated dialogue or one of his own dialogues. I like his voice, it does have story-telling quality to it.

[Kulyok]

Very nice. Also, since PC is on the run, and their foster father has just been killed, PC might be wary about giving their name so freely, so I'd add this option, as well.

[Andyr]

I concur with Domi and Kulyok. Sounds good so far!

[Grim Squeaker]

Yeah, it's good so far. Just watch out for potentially unnecessary action-text. Not a complaint, just a friendly suggestion.

[EiriktheScald]

@BigRob: Thanks; I think he should be very vocal, talking down the wolf serves to instill courage. Expect a few battle cries now and then, if he joins the party.

 

@Domi: I noticed all the BG1 NPC Player-Initiated dialogues had the same structure, is this necessary for a custom NPC? The PC might ask about Eirik's travels or inquire more about this friend he seeks.

 

@Kulyok: I always thought that Aoln's dialog seemed pointless. That was the inspiration for this. But you're right, that would be a valid response also. And if the PC just stands there a lets Eirik risk his life alone, that would affect the tone as well. Is there a way to check that?

 

@Grimm: Could you give me an example? The comments after "//" wont be in the dialog; I put them there to help set the scene.

[berelinde]

Eirik: *Levels sword in defensive stance* Listen hound, though your belly be empty, flee if you value your scruffy hide! Or I shall run you through!

 

The *Levels sword in defensive stance* is the parenthetical or action-text.

 

Opinions differ as to how much is too much. BioWare used practically no action text. Mods tend to use more, to varying degrees. Problem is that unless you are a highly gifted writer, it can be difficult to convey subtle shades of meaning without it.

 

In the following two examples, you'll see what I mean.

 

Him: You wouldn't believe why I'm late for our date.

 

Her: Try me.

 

In the previous example, the reason had better be that the line at the florist was half a mile long, because she's angry.

 

Him: You wouldn't believe why I'm late for our date.

 

Her: *mischevious smile* Try me.

 

In this one, she isn't really angry, she just wants him to squirm a bit, then she'll let it drop.

 

Woman: *carelessly putting the milk on top of the bread in the shopping cart* I'm almost done, honey, can you hold it until we get home?

 

Conveys that she is the mother of a small child with a full bladder.

 

Woman: I'm almost done, honey, can you hold it until we get home?

Hold what, exactly?

 

Child: But Mom! I really have to go!

Woman: *carelessly putting the milk on top of the bread in the shopping cart* I'm almost done, honey, can you hold it until we get home?

 

OK, it shows that she's rushing to finish her shopping, but it probably is unnecessary action text.

 

About the comments: might be a better idea to use /* blah blah blah */ in case later editing causes lines to merge and dialog to be accidentally commented out.

 

You can leave comments in as long as you like, even through release. They really do make it easier to troubleshoot.

 

Typical, vague bug report: Eirik was talking about his sword, and then Kivan asked him something, and then the dialog just ended.

 

Resolution: You remember that the only time Eirik was "talking about his sword" it was in a banter with Khalid, not Kivan, so you check Kivan's banters just to be safe, but they look all right, and you can tell by the comments that you remembered to include that they are /* Kivan longbow banter */, /* Kivan weather banter */ and /* Kivan music banter */. It is unlikely that Eirik was talking to Kivan about his sword. So you go check the /* Khalid sword banter */ and find that you had accidentally listed the second call to ~BESEirik~ as ~_BMINSC~, but Minsc isn't in the party.

[Domi]

@Domi: I noticed all the BG1 NPC Player-Initiated dialogues had the same structure, is this necessary for a custom NPC? The PC might ask about Eirik's travels or inquire more about this friend he seeks.

 

Actually, some NPCs have additional options (for example Xzar have three or so additional large dialogues; Dynaheir has a gazzilllion "living eniclopedia" entries, etc). The standard was there to help build minimum content. Every Czar/ina was free to add as much as s/he wanted. But by then not many had energy.... Kulyok actually wrote a huge amount of PIDs

 

In the previous example, the reason had better be that the line at the florist was half a mile long, because she's angry.

 

The beauty of not having the action text, though, is that you leave it to the player to infuse whatever meaning. As a rule of thumb, I write with actions text first, and then every time I go over the file, or see stuff at game while testing, I delete everything that looks like it can be deleted. For example, I'd get rid from both "In hushed voice" and "Defensive stance" and "looking at the wolf's lifeless bofy" and would have replaced "points to the north" with the speech 'two leagues journey northwards'

 

But I want to emphasise that it *is* a matter of taste.

[berelinde]

I don't want to contradict one master modder, let alone two, but I would not get too hung up on little things right now.

 

Domi's idea about editing later is probably sound.

 

Write while your muse is working. If you're inspired, write, and forget style, syntax, and everything else until that thought is captured. Once the idea is gone, it's almost impossible to reclaim. You can always fill in the details, or pare them out, as the case may be.

 

Edit when you get stumped, have a free moment too short for writing, or if everything else is already done.

[Miloch]

Opinions differ as to how much is too much. BioWare used practically no action text. Mods tend to use more, to varying degrees. Problem is that unless you are a highly gifted writer, it can be difficult to convey subtle shades of meaning without it.

Another problem with the IE games is that you can't see enough detail on character animations to make out expressions, gestures, etc. As you can perhaps in something like NWN2 or even BG1+2 'Dark Alliance' (for PS2/Xbox). Though perhaps you could do some interesting scripting with different portraits, but even so, they'd just be miniature stills. Also, the action text Eirik is (for now) putting in asterisks could be accomplished otherwise. For example the sound clip as the PC approaches might actually be recorded 'in a hushed voice' (though not too hushed otherwise we wouldn't hear it ). Something like leveling his sword in defensive stance might even be scriptable on the avatar. But obviously things like that would come after writing the dialogue, so for the time being, the action text probably makes sense until the mod becomes more final.

[Kulyok]

Also see this for action text:

http://forums.pocketplane.net/index.php/topic,19092.0.html