Typos for version 1(formerly: Talak)

[KIrving]

Just a couple more typos,

 

(after the PC visits Renal's bed and in the options for when she is leaving afterwards)

3:- Goodbye, Renal. I enjoyed the last night.

 

I don't think 'the' needs to be there.

 

@cmorgan

Great writing with the Renal encounter. I loved the balance of play, danger and tension in it.

(Another encounter would be nice, especially for the poor PC's who are not thieves. )

 

 

typo with Ribald,

(I think it's in the 3rd? Ribald initiated talk and with the PC talking of being in love with him.)

Ribald - Alas, it's too late, ye've made yer decision. I have to say goodbye, I'm afraid. I'd never though I'd say that, but I don't sell what ye need.

 

just I for the first bit and though is supposed to be 'thought' I think but is missing the 't' on the end.

[Kulyok]

Noted, thanks.

[Evaine Dian]

typo with Ribald,

(I think it's in the 3rd? Ribald initiated talk and with the PC talking of being in love with him.)

Ribald - Alas, it's too late, ye've made yer decision. I have to say goodbye, I'm afraid. I'd never though I'd say that, but I don't sell what ye need.

 

just I for the first bit and though is supposed to be 'thought' I think but is missing the 't' on the end.

You're right, thanks for reporting!

[Bex]

Another little typo in the Bjornin encounter (sorry I can't provide more context). There's a "than he tries" which should read "then he tries."

 

I'd favour keeping the "again" with regards to seeking the aid of healers. It implies the history between Bjornin and the PC, and has an air of a shared confidence as well (in that these others may find Bjornin's stance a little exasperating, and he knows it).

[jastey]

Thank you for reporting.

I am all for keeping the again, too, as it expresses the sense I wanted to put there (as berelinde said, Bjornin has a history about not seeking healers' help. One of his (RE) remarks towards the PC states this, too).

[KIrving]

typo in Mekrath's dialogue,

(post talking about illusion magic and then talking about the risks involved in being a mage of the blue magic)

Mekrath - And if one is persistant enough, he claims the best reward at all. He or she becomes the ultimate expression of the erotic arts:(etc.)

'reward of all', here I think.

[Kulyok]

Sure enough. Thank you!

[KIrving]

Me again.

 

Just a couple of things in Aran Linvail's dialogue,

 

(after he asks the pc to choose a subject for discussion)

7:- We could continue this dinner in more...private atmosphere.

'in a more'

 

(When asking about the pc)

1:- I have grown up at Candlekeep, with Gorion the Sage as my foster father. Imoen was there, too.

past/present tense confusion here? Perhaps, I grew up at Candlekeep, (?)

[Kulyok]

Thank you!

[Kitanna]

Found another, Teos

 

It is rather ironic, isn't it? That sometimes you meet a someone ...etc

 

A someone just doesn't sound right...should be just someone?

[Kulyok]

Indeed, thank you.

[Kitanna]

Another Teos, didn't notice it before as I chose a different option this time.

 

 

Worming your way to a stony heart of a Cowled Wizard, aren't you?

 

Worming your way into the stony heart of a Cowled Wizard?

[Kulyok]

And thank you again.

[KIrving]

typos for High Merchant Logan Coprith,

 

(after asking if he is well)

(PC response) 1:- Oh? Forgive me, Lord, if I am glad that it brought me here. I would have missed much not to having met you.

have

 

(after the PC proposes a walk)

High Merchant Logan Coprith - Forgive me, but no. Much I would like, I cannot spare the time.

Much as I

 

(one of the, pouring the wine, responses)

High Merchant Logan Coprith - (He holds the bottle, uncorks it with a final sharp twist, then lifts it to the glass. He pours a bit too swiftly, for even the wide bowl of the glass Dark red wine spills out of the glass, spilling down the side all the way to the stem to finally pool on the table.)

I'm not entirely sure how this sentence is supposed to go. A suggestion,

'for even out of the wide bowl of the glass, dark red wine spills, trickling/flowing (instead of 'spilling' next?) down the side all the way to the stem to finally pool on the table.

 

(Also in the next sentence in that same paragraph)

He sighs and more pours a second glass more gently.

He sighs once more and pours a second glass more gently.(?)

[Kulyok]

Thank you! Ajnos, please, confirm your preference.