Grim Squeaker Posted April 27, 2004 Share Posted April 27, 2004 Some of the finest double entendres on British TV & Radio... MICHAEL Buerk watching Phillipa Forrester cuddle up to a male astronomer for warmth during BBC1's UK eclipse coverage remarked: "They seem cold out there, they're rubbing each other and he's only come in his shorts." Ken Brown commentating on golfer Nick Faldo and his caddie Fanny Sunneson lining-up shots at the Scottish Open: "Some weeks Nick likes to use Fanny other weeks he prefers to do it by himself." MIKE Hallett discussing missed snooker shots on Sky Sports: "Stephen Hendry jumps on Steve Davis's misses every chance he gets." JACK Burnicle was talking about Colin Edwards' tyre choice on World Superbike racing: "Colin had a hard on in practice earlier, and I bet he wished he had a hard on now." Chris Tarrant discussing the first Millionaire winner Judith Keppel on This Morning: "She was practising fastest finger first by herself in bed last night." WINNING Post's Stewart Machin commentating on jockey Tony lead: "Tony has a quick look between his legs and likes what he sees." ROSS King discussing relays with champion runner Phil Redmond: "Well, Phil, tell us about your amazing third leg." DURING the 1989 British Masters golf tournament, commentator Richie Benaud observed: "Notices are appearing at courses telling golfers not to lick their balls on the green." CRICKETER Neil Fairbrother hit a single during a Durham v Lancashire match, inspiring Bobby Simpson to observe: "With his lovely soft hands he just tossed it off." CLAIR Frisby talking about a jumbo hot dog on Look North said: "There's nothing like a big hot sausage inside you on a cold night like this." JAMES Allen interviewing Ralf Schumacher at a Grand Prix, asked: "What does it feel like being rammed up the backside by Barrichello?" STEVE Ryder covering the US Masters: "Ballesteros felt much better today after a 69." THE new stand at Doncaster race course took Brough Scott's breath away..."My word," he said. "Look at that magnificent erection." WILLIE Carson was telling Claire Balding how jockeys prepare for a big when he said: "They usually have four or five dreams a night about coming from different positions." STEVE Leonard, talking about vegetation on Vets In The Wild told Trude: "There's something big growing between my legs." CARENZA Lewis about finding food in the Middle Ages on Time Team Live said: “You'd eat beaver if you could get it." A female news anchor who, the day after it was supposed to have snowed and didn't, turned to the weatherman and asked, "So Bob, where's that eight inches you promised me last night?" Not only did HE have to leave the set, but half the crew did too, because they were laughing so hard! US PGA Commentator - "One of the reasons Arnie (Arnold Palmer) is playing so well is that, before each tee shot, his wife takes out his balls and kisses them..... Oh my god!!!!! What have I just said?!!!!" David Coleman at the Montreal Olympics - "And there goes Juantorena down the back straight, opening his legs and showing his class." Metro Radio - "Julian Dicks is everywhere. It's like they've got eleven Dicks on the field" Harry Carpenter at the Oxford-Cambridge boat race 1977- "Ah, isn't that nice. The wife of the Cambridge President is kissing the Cox of the Oxford crew." Ted Walsh- Horse Racing Commentator - "This is really a lovely horse. I once rode her mother." New Zealand Rugby Commentator - "Andrew Mehrtens loves it when Daryl Gibson comes inside of him." Pat Glenn- Weightlifting commentator - "And this is Gregoriava from Bulgaria. I saw her snatch this morning and it was amazing!" And not forgetting Cricket - "The bowlers Holding the batsmans Willey" Link to comment
Grim Squeaker Posted April 27, 2004 Author Share Posted April 27, 2004 You are a very dirty boy. :D Grim says:http://forums.gibberlings3.net/index.php?act=ST&f=9&t=739 Andyr says: going... Andyr says: hehehhehehe Link to comment
icelus Posted April 27, 2004 Share Posted April 27, 2004 A female news anchor who, the day after it was supposed to have snowed and didn't, turned to the weatherman and asked, "So Bob, where's that eight inches you promised me last night?" Not only did HE have to leave the set, but half the crew did too, because they were laughing so hard! Sports up next, right after a quick break... Link to comment
BigRob Posted April 28, 2004 Share Posted April 28, 2004 US PGA Commentator - "One of the reasons Arnie (Arnold Palmer) is playing so well is that, before each tee shot, his wife takes out his balls and kisses them..... Oh my god!!!!! What have I just said?!!!!" I can just imagine how funny that'd be to hear on the commentary for golf. *takes notes* Link to comment
jester Posted April 28, 2004 Share Posted April 28, 2004 Nearly p*s**d myself on some. I have to watch more sports. :D Priceless quotes. '..he's only come in his shorts'. That is what I love about the Brits: Always stiff upper lip. Link to comment
Loké Posted April 30, 2004 Share Posted April 30, 2004 Trust me, we have very large stiff upper something-elses too. Well, the blokes do. The girls... ... ... ... ...I'll shut up now... Link to comment
Dancer Fitz Posted April 30, 2004 Share Posted April 30, 2004 Inara: .... Are you sure you like my sister better? Link to comment
Loké Posted April 30, 2004 Share Posted April 30, 2004 Isn't this the wrong thread? Link to comment
Recommended Posts
Archived
This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.